After the miscarriage we decided to try IVF one more final time. There were more occurrences that could have been taken as ‘signs’ from God. Including almost half the money required arriving on our doorstep over the course of a weekend. We hadn’t asked anyone for any help. But unfortunately the IVF failed to work again – we didn’t get past the transfer stage this time.
What followed was one of our worst summers ever. Upon reflection we think that the realisation that IVF was now off the table affected us both, and during the summer we grieved again. Then there was a life line – someone offered us the money for a third round of IVF. We were confused and unsure, and ultimately we turned this offer down. The final straw for me was watching a video at church for that years shoebox appeal. The joy that a simple box of toys bought children’s faces moved me, and as I watched I felt I couldn’t withhold the offer of parents to a child any longer. So we started making enquires about adoption.
At the start of the adoption process we were invited to an induction evening. During this we were given newspapers which had profiles of all the children who needed parents. It was like some kind of horrendously necessary Argos catalogue of children. After three pages I put the paper down for fear of breaking down in tears at the things these young lives had had to bear. I wanted to stop the evening, to shout ‘I’ll take them all!’ Adoption is an incredibly Biblical principle, even if you ignore all of God’s talk about looking after widows and orphans you are still faced with the fact that God looked at similar catalogue of children, similarly neglected and lied to and He said ‘I’ll take them all!’ Some say when you become a parent that your life as you know it ends, God is the only person who this is literally true for – Jesus died so that we could have the privilege of being His co-heir, His brother or sister.
Romans 8:15-17 ‘For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.’