“Praying” and “dangerous” are not two words that most people would put together in today’s world and even in many churches. To some it may even seem a contradiction. Give me a minute or two of your time and I will explain.
I first came to the Lord 15 years ago when my youngest son was diagnosed with leukaemia, but that is another story. Our five year old son at the time suffered three and a half year of high dose chemotherapy and the associated effects, but thankfully we got him into remission. This lasted for nine years, sadly he relapsed in July 2011 and again in Sept 2012 meaning his only hope was a bone marrow transplant. Thank God we found a donor and he had the transplant in December 2012. Having supported our son through many years of high dose chemotherapy we thought we were prepared for what was to hit. How wrong we were. This was another level, off the scale, as his consultant said one day to us, “it is in my estimation the most traumatic procedure that the human body will ever undergo, it is without explanation”. Having lived through the last year supporting our son 24 hours a day through situations that are the stuff of nightmares, I can tell you that it really is.
Now I have to be careful how I explain this, I do not and never will believe God created the circumstances which we have been and are living through, however I have learned that He will permit them. There is a massive difference. For the theologians the Bible is full of such circumstances with the ultimate one manifesting upon the hill at Calvary. God is good! Leukaemia is not good, therefore it does not come from God.
It makes me laugh how men today want to be men as the world wants them to be. To be the “Bear Grylls,” action man type guy. Jump from a helicopter, survive on snakes` testicles, ride up a mountain on a unicycle and have the body of a Greek god. Oh and not forgetting the five- bedroomed house, Chelsea tractor and sports car. As Solomon said, “It’s all vanity!”
Over the years of going through the most hideous of circumstances I am learning so many lessons and each one of these lessons has in some way been a cost to a greater or lesser extent, but from that cost a far greater gain has manifested in my life.
I am learning to be broken by circumstances. I am learning to be selfless. I am learning to embrace suffering, pain and loss. I am learning that my own strength, peace and hope, will always limited. I am learning humility and to trust. I am learning to love the un-loveable and those people I don’t really want to love because “they get up my nose.” I am learning that my bank account will never be big enough and I am not the source of my income. I am learning that the truly valuable and eternal things in life can never be bought with money. I am learning that many who claim to know all about God have heads full of knowledge, but no relationship with Him. I am learning that if I truly let God into my life for every minute of every day that He wants to share that with me. I am learning that He is passionate in love for me and the things He wants to do through me. I am learning the true value of one human being to God and how truly precious we are to Him. I am learning to see the face of God in all people. I am learning, “ Father,not my will, but your will be done ”.
I have learned that the most dangerous prayer that you will ever pray is:
“Jesus I want to be more like you.”
If you have at some point prayed this and your life is going belly up, let meyou not push away from God, but push deeper and closer into Him. In that growing intimacy you will become more like Jesus. Allow God to use the circumstances to perfect you and to really get to know Him.
Will it cost? Yes. Will it hurt? Yes. Will it be scary? Probably. Will you enjoy It? Probably not. Will you get closer to God? If you choose to. Will it be worth it? Way beyond what you will ever imagine! Why? Because it will have eternal consequences as His kingdom will be coming in your life and those lives around you.
You will learn to die to self, but to live for Christ. “He who is in you is greater than he that is in the world”
God bless you and thank you for reading.