Do you ever have one of those moments when time seems to freeze and all the possible choices are laid out before you? I often choose to do stupid things. I’m allowed a glimpse of the options and I choose the worst one. Whether big obvious sins like shoplifting or mocking the disabled, or little everyday things like choosing to ignore the list of chores that Anna has left me, or gossip about the latest minor annoyance a friend commits.

At the end of Psalm 19 David says this ‘Keep your servant also from wilful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression. May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heard be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.’

Wilful sins? Certainly I recognise these in my own life. Times when despite knowing better I choose to go against God’s way and instead choosing my own way. But if there are wilful sins then does that mean that there are sins we are unaware of? That we are so ingrained into the cultures and societies around us and our ways of doing things that we almost automatically sin just by living? Could we be that far removed from Eden?

Consider the clothes you are wearing or the food you eat – are you sure it was ethically sourced? Could there be items in your house that have prospered slavery? I’m not a forceful moral warrior but I can see that something’s gone badly wrong with the world when just living can cause others to suffer. So what do we do? I mean it’s hard enough to battle wilful sins, how do we stop unintentionally sinning too?

For me it’s all about discipline. I may not be directly responsible for slavery but I could make better choices in all spheres of my life that would lead to less sinning full stop, wilful and accidental.

Romans 12:1-2 ‘Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.’

(Part two of the Eden Series)

One of the most compelling aspects of my job is also one of the most tragic: seeing the state of spirituality amongst British men. And the common denominator in most spiritual tragedies is usually a misguided foundation stone. It seems that many of us are tempted to plant our feet of faith onto how we feel at any given point. We all want a sign from God that our heart’s desires will come true. We chase after biblical extras in the hope that we would feel something other than how we feel right now. But from my trekking up and down every major motorway in the UK, I believe that nothing good comes from a faith based on ‘feeling good’. Or indeed as Jesus said: “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign.”

But as I encounter all sorts of Christian faith on this island, I see further proof that not only is God real, the Bible sovereign and the Sprit active, but that there is an almighty restoration project being carried out in everyone who trusts in Jesus.

(And part of me doesn’t even know if the restoration is always taking place on a conscious level.)

Peter Gladwin, Richard Taylor, Rob Joy, Paul Gask, Tim Brown. These are the names of just five new friends I have got to know in recent times. They’re also five men who are walking proof that the Creator can reconstruct any man, in any situation. All the above names were men who looked at Jesus when their life map fell through.

And I think the reason why I am humbled to meet guys like this, is because their stories are far more powerful than the wham bam thank you ma’am spirituality that seems to draw a lot of Christians in our culture. God’s reconstruction of our characters is incredibly good news for our friends who don’t yet know the Good News.

Which faith lasted longest, those dramatically rescued during the parting of the Red Sea, or the salt of the Earth Jesus’ follower Stephen? Within days of the Red Sea parting those who were delivered from death were already questioning their God. Stephen never saw miracles of such grandeur, but his last words, spoken as religious men hurled rocks at his fractured skull, were declarations of God’s power and truth.

So why do we still chase after new revelations, extra blessings and signs? Are we not content with the fact that God has the power and the inclination to reconstruct a broken man like me into something stronger?

What does your week look like? How trashed is your Eden? The Bible says that some us will allow false teachers and bad influences into our spiritual houses. If that’s the state of affairs for your Eden, let me tell you that all is not lost by any stretch. Your loving heavenly father has his hand above the ‘Reconstruct’ button, waiting for you to give him the green light. Would we be the followers who ask God for signs of truth or those who ask him to make us the signs to Truth?

As you read this, God is reconstructing the traces of Eden in the lives of millions.

2 Peter 1:3-4

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

Peace

*The Reconstructed Eden is the second part of Alex Willmott’s Eden Series.

Next Friday, CVM will publish part three: ‘The Return of Eden’.

I have a big gob. I often put my foot in it. When I was a teenager I worked, for a time, in Safeways. This time was characterised by complaints. One day I was on the till serving a member of staff who had just got off work. She noticed my WWJD band and asked about it, and I promptly explained. The elderly couple next in line seemed somewhat fidgety and were looking around quite a lot. After I had finished serving the member of staff they approached and I learned what their problem was.

‘Do you think it’s right’ started the old lady ‘that you spend all that time talking to a member of staff when there are customers waiting?’ Now let me state for the record that I hadn’t taken any longer than usual, our conversation had lasted the time it took me to scan her shopping and take her money, with that in mind, I retorted politely ‘Ma’am if you knew me you would know that I am a polite young man who talks to all my customers, because that’s just the way I am.’ At this reasonable reply the old lady’s husband made to storm off to customer services. ‘Leave it’ said the old lady ‘We have never had this before.’ To which I replied ‘Unfortunately I get it everyday.’ At which the old man promptly stormed off to complain.

I was speaking to a group of men about being disappointed with God and how within that, we can run our mouths off to Him and whoever will listen. Before we know it the reason for our disappointment starts to define us rather than being defined by our creator. Listen to Job after God reminds him of who his Creator is:

Job 40: 1-5: ‘The Lord said to Job: ‘Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!’ Then Job answered the Lord: ‘I am unworthy – how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer – twice, but I will say no more.’

Could we learn from Job – that once we have got our grievance, rant, point of view, or whatever it is out, once we have spoken, we will not speak it out again. But instead put our hands over our mouth – forcibly if needed. And the reason? So we don’t dwell in the pit of despair, but instead sit before God in reverence and awe, holding our hands over our mouths.

Part One

“Made in Cheena” the little girl said, as she read the bottom of her tiny doll. Her mispronunciation of the word brought a smile to her mum’s face, and mine. “China” her mother said, resisting the temptation to laugh. The girl repeated the word perfectly whilst looking directly at me. “Well done” I said, as a responsible adult.

She carried all the typical characteristics of a four-year-old. She was so interested in her surroundings that her eyes followed any movement like a cat in a disco. There was something peaceful about watching a mum read a newspaper next to her daughter who was visibly learning the ropes of life. I never thought I’d feel at peace in council offices to be honest.

It wasn’t long before the little girl grew bored of the space around her. She turned to her mum and watched her read the national paper left generously on the coffee table. And then I felt a strange notion dwell within me. As I clocked the front page of the paper, which projected the word MURDER in huge red writing, I found myself wanting to hide the headline from the child. There’s no doubt in my head that children often carry an unpolluted air, which has seemingly escaped many adults. I guess I didn’t want to see this air of innocence tarnished by the brutality that runs down the spine of this world. I wanted to tear the front page off. I wanted to protect the glimpses of Eden in this girl’s eyes.

Of course, this was impossible, and so I watched the scene unfold. It started with the girl attempting to read the front page that separated her from her mum’s gaze. “What does that say?” she enquired. The mum turned to where the girl was pointing, before quietly whispering the word ‘murder’.

The cogs inside the child’s head were almost audible as she tried to associate the word with an action. She looked at her mum like a lion cub trying to work out how to digest a first solid meal. The mother lowered the paper and explained that murder was something done by bad people. She went on to say that it was when one person hurts another so seriously that they are no longer living.

I was waiting for the inevitable question. The question that is pretty much prohibited in the ‘evolved’ western world. The little girl mumbled the question ‘why?’

I didn’t hear the mum’s response. I was moved almost to tears at the expression on the child’s face though. A morbid revelation dawned on her, as it has done with me these last few months. The revelation that we ruined Eden.

There was a world where murder hadn’t even been conceived, a world where the creator walked amongst his beloved. It was a place designed to last forever, until humanity fell victim to the greatest and most horrible act of deception ever to pass through the horizon of this world. And though early man and woman didn’t set out to destroy Eden, they ended up driving in the final nails personally.

The feeling that brought me to tears in the council offices watching the air of innocence diminish around the life of a child, was not just sadness, it was guilt. No, I haven’t murdered anyone to date, but I am responsible for the destruction, depletion and ruin of Eden. And whether or not you call Jesus ‘Lord’ we have something in common. Both you and I took God’s perfect plan, and smashed it across his alter. And the symptom of Eden’s downfall is still rife within us both. It’s the common denominator in almost every waking thought. It’s the DNA constant. It’s the fact that when all is said and done, we will never love our neighbour as we love ourselves.

Isaiah 64:6

“All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.”

Peace.

*The Ruined Eden is the first part of Alex Willmott’s Eden Series.

Next Friday, CVM will publish part two: ‘The Reconstructed Eden’.

I am two days post op for malignant melanoma with a large scar in my leg and a tender groin where nodes were removed: now the real work begins in working out my faith and moving forward.

Faith is not a passive slumbering thing, it is real and active, coming alive even more in challenging or life threatening circumstances. Some would say faith is blind (in the past psychologists and atheists described accepting Christian faith as a blind leap) but currently for me it helps clarify what life is all about.

Staring mortality in the face is not a popular past-time in modern culture; we are all busy, trying to get comfortable whilst constantly reassured by advertising that says “we are worth it” “we are in control”. However it doesn’t take much to get a glimpse of the reality lying just beneath the polished veneer of our fragile existence: a near miss on the roads, a friend has an accident, a natural disaster occurs or your own health or that of those you love, is called into question. Shocked, we are forced into taking stock, pausing to consider just for a short while what life is all about and what we really value, why we are here and what our purpose is.

Blind faith would speak platitudes into my situation and the future saying “it will all be alright”.

Real faith, as the Bible puts it, says “The assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things unseen” (ESV Hebrews 11v1) sees our fragile reality and in the face of uncertainty, real doubts and honest concerns, fights to believe that God has a purpose and has not left the building.

Those with real faith do not expect to be exempt from suffering: no-where in the Bible does it state that those who follow Christ will somehow magically avoid illness, accident, suffering and harm – even death; but that we should expect challenges in life; that in our suffering God is with us, carrying us and helping us to become stronger, learning to deal with human frailty and to understand more clearly his values and the eternal picture.

CS Lewis, Christian author and writer of the Narnia series watched his wife die of cancer and explained that “pain is God’s megaphone to a deaf world”. The illusion of control is so strong now that it takes a significant event like the Tsunami to help us realise what is really important and how we should spend our time and resources.

My chosen reaction to this bad news of cancer has a background; I had an excellent example growing up from my Dad who survived a near fatal car accident when I was one and was paralysed from the neck down. He was told he would never walk again, but through prayer, faith and determination he walked out of Stoke Mandeville Spinal Injuries Unit a few months later. He has written and spoken of his struggle with suffering and has fought to hold on to faith through it all. Recently he suffered another fall leaving him in a wheelchair and has fought for months to regain some walking once again. He has never complained and I admire his determination to fight on and believe that God is still with us.

So where does that leave me? Well it’s hard to deal with mortality and see the reaction to my news in those around me. I have been reminded of the fact that my life is still in God’s hands and that my earthly future is uncertain, but my eternal one assured. I would like people to acknowledge their reaction and to look into what life is really about; also to help others be more aware of preventative measures to reduce their own cancer risk.

My faith is now moving up a gear, more active as I hold in tension the reality of a potential for more suffering, loss and an increase in my risk of going to heaven in the next ten years, while still seeking God’s path for my life and trying to live like Christ, as he said “I have come that they may have life to the full”(John 10v10).

This means I am setting myself some goals over the next few weeks, months and years to remind me of what’s important and to focus on what is right.

1. To spend time with the people I love and develop my relationship with God.

2. To serve those I am called to in my role as a Doctor, Husband, Father, Brother, Friend and Son.

3. To make the most of my energy, time and resources to life live to the full.

4. To start training for a Triathlon to be achieved next summer once my wound heals.

5. To do all I can to raise awareness of preventable health problems.

6. To try to live every day to the max as if it were my last.

Another great verse puts all this better than I could, not hiding in denial but running the marathon of life with real faith :

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus”. (Philippians 3v14)

This complex syntax typical of St Paul basically states that he is focused by faith on what is unseen and wants to reach the goals set by Christ not those set by the material world around him. Amen to that.

Recently, we were holidaying in Crete with another couple when we decided to hire a couple of mopeds. At the rental shop they asked us all if we had ridden a moped before. I said yes. (I lied). ‘How hard can it be I thought?’ I don’t want to appear like an English idiot I reasoned. So with Anna on the back, I turned the key and gunned the engine. Tearing out of the shop, taking the corner way too wide, I found myself on the wrong side of the road into on coming traffic.

Of course I immediately rectified that situation but when we came to the next corner the moped went wide again. I was puzzled, I had assumed the steering would be fairly light but I was having to actually wrestle this beast round the corners. We got back to our chalet safely, mainly due to the relatively straight roads once we were out of the town. Later on I went out for a bez on my own and found the steering much easier – maybe I was just getting use to it? This thought was dismissed the next time all four of us went out as once again the steering became unwieldy. I began to assume it was just the fact there was now two of us onboard. It wasn’t until two days later that Anna revealed that as we went round the corners she was actively leaning the opposite way to me, attempting to counter balance and in reality becoming the reason turning was so difficult. It was scarier for her to lean into the corners with me, but ultimately safer as we stayed on the correct side of the road.

I don’t know about you but I often feel like I am guilty of ‘counter balancing’ Jesus. I happily jump on His moped and go along for the ride, but when it comes to those corners I feel much safer leaning my own way and risking the on coming traffic than I do leaning His way and giving Him complete control.

Proverbs 3:5-6 ‘Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.’

It was on Easter Sunday that Jesus rose from death. Jesus had told his disciples before he was arrested that he would be crucified and on the third day he would rise from the dead.

Sunday was the third day from Good Friday (Good Friday, Holy Saturday, Easter Day).

The second day after Good Friday.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Walter Raleigh

One of the most disheartening reports from any war are injuries from friendly fire. Time and time again we hear about brothers in arms hurting and sometimes killing each other. In war it must be a horrible feeling to find out you have wounded one of your own team.

In many Churches, it is not so obvious.

The truth is that some of us spend so much time sniping at each other but because the wounds are not physical we feel little remorse. The desire to be right is far more appealing than the desire to be humble. Debates about doctrine draw us in to present our own opinion above all others, including the Bible. I wonder how much richer our lives would be if we invested that time in the promotion of the gospel of Christ rather than our own perverted gospels?

At the end of the day Christians are all on the same page, or at the very least the same book. Perhaps if we realised we all look out from that book in slightly different directions, and that that is something to be celebrated rather than feared, we could get on with our mission more effectively.

Galatians 6:10 “Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.”

The battle is not won on microphones in venues with fancy walls. It is not won on the pages of new books or amongst the words of blogs like these. Like almost everything that has ever been, these words will fade like fireworks in the distance. Indeed the fingers that churn out the letters will one day be void of blood, and my bones will diminish into the ground from which they came.

The battle is not won amidst the scenes of powerful short films or across the airwaves on succinct podcasts and confident declarations. Our victory will not be found in atmospheric conferences loaded with the passion of the young and the wisdom of the old.

The battle is not won on the lips of foreign speakers building new kingdoms on the foundations of their ancestors. Our victory will not be found across the spine of new doctrines or in the eyes of newly elected bishops.

In fact, the battle is not even fought on external platforms. The battle is a silent one, raging non stop in one place only. The battle is fought right here on this bench, three inches below my collar bone, beneath my flesh and bones. Indeed, though we surround ourselves with the constant noise of Western Christianity, the battle for every man is fought silently in his heart.

Let’s be careful we do not allow our Christian faith to be carried by the external noises of those around us, but rather let it grow honestly in our unique walk with Christ. If we cannot face the Lord with thanksgiving, praise and worship when nobody is watching, then we need to question if our faith is ours at all.

This month Canon Roger Simpson said: “You’ll never have peace of mind unless you have peace with God”. And to that end I say Amen and Amen again.

Matthew 7:21-23

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!”

Peace

It’s pretty much the law that when Bohemian Rhapsody comes on the radio, every man has to lose the plot. It’s a bit more tricky when you’re driving. However, an aggressive thrashing of the head is still obligatory nonetheless. 

I had been skipping radio stations like a dog chewing on a remote control as I headed to CVM HQ on Wednesday. It felt like a thousand years since I had heard any station play a decent song, but then it arrived. (I’ve never had a visitation by an angel, but I can’t imagine it would have been much better than hearing the first lines: “Is this the real life, Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality…” )

My head began to follow the tones of one of the greatest bands ever to have graced the stage. And halfway through the song, the listener gets to say hello to one of the most epic guitar riffs this side of Neptune. My head began to thrash more powerfully than the meat wagons flying down the M18.

I did everything right. I turned the volume up, I positioned my car in a safe place in the road, and I fell in sync with every other man who was listening to BBC Radio Two at that time.

What I hadn’t accounted for was the bus full of school teenagers beside me. Ah, yes, the giddiness of young people on a school trip. Unfortunately, the entire one side of the vehicle were watching me throw my head back and forth like a duck being battered with a crow bar.

As I meandered down the motorway, away from the mocking teenagers, I began to laugh at myself. And then my laughter became out and out hysterics.

Call me twee, but I pictured my creator laughing with me. We rarely picture God as a personal being with emotions, but the Bible clearly teaches us that God is full of life. And as he sees the whole of time stretched out before him like a till roll, he would have known exactly what was going to happen in my car on Wednesday. And as insignificant as that moment was, I’d like to think that God the Father, and the Lord Jesus, were taking a moment to laugh at the their son, and clown, me.

But whatever the case may be, I’ll leave you with this: “I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy, because I’m easy come, easy go, little high, little low, any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me… to me.”

Peace.