Confessions of a Personal Trainer #3

“XXX Adults only”

Hands up, if you are struggling with motivation to exercise, and are still not at that ideal weight?
Hands up, if you are struggling to choose and eat the most wholesome foods 80% of the time? 
Hands up, if your focus is 100% on changing the outside, but not changing from the inside out? 
My hands are up for all 3 of those questions; that was me for most of 2020.

Now let us be honest: what grabbed your attention to this BLOG, was it the title?! Let me first explain what got me to this point to confess my struggles in this area.

At the start of the year my wife encouraged my family to read “The Gift of Imperfection” by Brené Brown. She is a shame researcher and other similar topics. Reading and sharing our findings on the family group has been a painful process for us all. I valued hearing each personal angle from each family member. Some things were extremely uncomfortable to hear. I got more of an understanding of why I/family did, thought or said certain things. From our early years growing up, dealing with death, living daily life, the choices we have made, the consequences of those decisions all shaped us. We have prayed, forgiven, asked for forgiveness, let go and moved forward not just as a family, but as individuals seeking to be set free from what has kept us prisoners within these bodies. One chapter asked, “what gets in the way?”. What are those things preventing me being healthier in mind, body and Spirit? To be a more patient with my son, love my wife the way she deserves to be loved; but ultimately to have such an open-hearted relationship with the one that gave me life. No not my mother, but the one that wove me together in my mother’s womb and gives me breath daily.

My personal shame chains sadly are beginning to be more widely accepted as the norm in this new generation. Pornography, Lustful Sex, Gluttony (Overeating) affects all now, not just men. The commandments are still part of the Law today as a foundation, so they have stood the test of time. Like with exercise we need a solid foundation so we can have fun and be injury free, but within our lives we have security and justice held strong within our social system, our communities, for us and our loved ones. By using Porn, Food and Drink as a pacifier it kept me in a prison. It did not just affect me, but it damaged what I hold most dear … relationships, my marriage, my faith. In the past and still sometimes now I walk in shame because of those pacifiers. If I had not; as Brené says “Owned my story” and spoke to my wife about my struggles, which we prayed over and continue to do every day… If I never took that step of faith, I would stay reserved, anxious, overweight, angry and a frustrated Husband & Pappa, which the knock-on effect would show up in our son later in life. 

... to be continued.

Every month for 2021 I will share my confessions, but also will pop a WOD Workout (Workout of the Day) link to my YouTube Channel.

Keep the Faith, Coach Spencer