{"id":9398,"date":"2021-05-04T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-05-04T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/?p=9398"},"modified":"2021-04-26T14:42:36","modified_gmt":"2021-04-26T13:42:36","slug":"confessions-of-a-personal-trainer-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/friends-of-cvm\/confessions-of-a-personal-trainer-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Confessions of a Personal Trainer #4"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cAnger Management\u201d<\/strong><\/strong><\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Dear Friends, I am writing this letter, so that you understand that I am facing \u2018giants\u2019 and need encouragement, more than that I need prayer. It is amazing how when you start out with a project of confessions, the routes taken are unexpected. I am writing these BLOGS not for sympathy or to be told, \u201cdon\u2019t worry it will be ok\u201d, but to share a message of HOPE. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Reading Bren\u00e9 Browns books and reading \u201cJesus Calling\u201d by Sarah Young opened up my eyes to how I use numbing agents (food, alcohol, tv, always planning etc.) rather than face the past, forgive or be forgiven. As I have said before I understand first-hand why it is easier to turn away, numb and ignore painful things in life rather than facing those demons. I am \u201cleaning in\u201d and accepting vulnerability, so I can face my \u2018giants\u2019, \u201cShort term pain, long term gain\u201d.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

 I have not been myself through Lockdown and I am sure I am not alone. For the last month I have noticed my frustrations and anger increasing. Being snappy with my wife and saying things that regrettably should not be said to the woman that I love so much. I felt ashamed because this is not the example I want to set for our beautiful son and for him to treat others this way. I do not want to talk the talk, but not walk the walk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two weeks ago, after getting angry and frustrated when I should just be able to communicate my thoughts and feelings; I asked Ilse for some space (knowing what we need and asking for it is so important). Ilse and Michael went and stopped with a friend overnight that we are bubbling with. This gave me the breather to have a good word with myself, meditate and seek Spiritual council. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The very next day I took some steps, spoke to a Doctor who listened and guided me to take some anti-depressants to help me get to a place of organising my thoughts and I also started Psychotherapy so I can get to the root of why I act out in anger in frustration \u2013 understand my feelings and am able to communicate this to my wife and son. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m now facing my \u2018giants\u2019 which is painful but necessary as it\u2019s affected me living life and the numbing is not helping me move forward. I would like to feel Joy again, be my full potential self, let others into my life, and be more thankful in what I have, to love those around me in the way they deserve to be loved, to listen and communicate instead of being in the pit of pity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This morning reading \u201cJesus Calling\u201d Sarah Young points out that those problems do not have to take us to the pit of pity, but problems can be a ladder, enabling us to climb up and see life from God\u2019s perspective. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am reaching out to those, whether male or female \u2026 If you connect with this and in a dark place, find comfort in that you are not alone. There is HOPE and an answer, and It is not a weakness to ask for help, it takes great strength. I am encouraging you to take a step of faith <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2026\u00a0to be continued.<\/strong><\/pre>\n\n\n\n
Every month for 2021 I will share my confessions, but also will pop a WOD Workout (Workout of the Day) link to my YouTube Channel<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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