{"id":9298,"date":"2021-03-04T07:00:08","date_gmt":"2021-03-04T07:00:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/?p=9298"},"modified":"2021-03-03T13:45:17","modified_gmt":"2021-03-03T13:45:17","slug":"who-or-what-do-you-turn-to-when-life-is-a-struggle","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/50plus\/who-or-what-do-you-turn-to-when-life-is-a-struggle\/","title":{"rendered":"Who (or what) do you turn to, when life is a struggle?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>If someone asked you this today, during lockdown, how might you respond?&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Well, I guess it might depend who asked you; but either way, as a Christian could you truly respond\u2026&nbsp;&nbsp;\u201cWell, I always turn to Jesus and He sorts my problems out.\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p>Or might you say: \u201cLife struggles?\u00a0\u00a0No, not me\u2026\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m always happy.\u00a0\u00a0Since I became a Christian, I don\u2019t experience any problems.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>If your answer is along those lines, please feel free to delete this blog &#8211; because it\u2019s unlikely to be of any interest!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, for those of you (like me) who would love to answer as above, but more often than not entertain temptation in order to appease and soothe the problems that each day brings, this blog might offer you some useful tips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before having another attempt at answering my question above, let\u2019s go back a step.\u00a0\u00a0If we\u2019re honest with each other, life can be a real grind &#8211; especially right now with\u00a0<em>all things Covid<\/em>\u00a0driving some of us insane.\u00a0\u00a0For that reason, it can be a great help if there is someone in our life who we can turn to, and who will always offer the right kind of Godly advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote\"><p>\u201cDo you have an accountability partner?\u00a0<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Let me ask you a different question: \u201cDo you have an accountability partner?&nbsp;&nbsp;A trusted man with whom you can share your intimate secrets?&nbsp;&nbsp;A man of God who will support you with prayer and Godly counsel when you are struggling?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you do that\u2019s a help, a&nbsp;<strong><em>great<\/em><\/strong>&nbsp;help.&nbsp;&nbsp;But, frankly even if you do, it\u2019s still easy to keep your fears or secret sins in the dark and not share them; especially if doing so might cause you considerable shame.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So, let\u2019s be real with each other, many of us Christian men turn to all manner of sinful \u2018idols\u2019 for comfort with our struggles.\u00a0I know, I\u2019ve struggled with some of them over the years!\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s a few idols that spring to mind:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>A secret affair.\u00a0\u00a0<br><br><\/li><li>The use of pornography, available at the touch of a button on our computer\/smart phone screens &#8211; even more tempting now many of us are locked down at home.<br><br><\/li><li>Drug abuse.<br><br><\/li><li>Too much beer, or a bottle of gin hidden in your \u2018man cave\u2019.<br><br><\/li><li>Abusing\/Controlling\/Shouting at\/arguing with your partner\/wife\/kids\/parents.\u00a0<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>My final question for you is, assuming you are like 99.9% of Christians world-wide and have struggles to deal with&nbsp;<strong>daily<\/strong>, how do you discipline yourself not to listen to the evil one, and act upon his ungodly advice?&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Well, some of us might pray for more self-control.&nbsp;&nbsp;Some might use a secular organisation to help them fight addiction.&nbsp;&nbsp;You might know someone at CVM who can help.&nbsp;&nbsp;I\u2019ve been a supporter for 7 years \u2013 they are brilliant people!&nbsp;&nbsp;Others might ask their Vicar\/Minister\/House Group leader for advice, but how do we know if it will be Godly advice?&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sad to say, some of our Christian leaders today are following a progressive, liberal, woke agenda.&nbsp;&nbsp;Such wolves in sheep\u2019s clothing seek to affirm or appease us rather than give a \u2018difficult-to-hear-word\u2019 in love.&nbsp;&nbsp;On the other hand, the Bible tells us \u2018Every Scripture is God-breathed (given by His inspiration) and profitable for instruction, for reproof&nbsp;<em>and<\/em>&nbsp;conviction of sin, for correction of error&nbsp;<em>and<\/em>&nbsp;discipline in obedience, [and] for training in righteousness (in holy living, in conformity to God\u2019s will in thought, purpose, and action)\u2026\u2019 (2 Timothy 3:16 AMPC)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After decades of struggles (of all kinds), God inspired me to write a book for men, to help us men better cope with life and its constant difficulties.&nbsp;&nbsp;It\u2019s based pretty much entirely on Scripture and the advice of some great Christian men.&nbsp;&nbsp;See my autobiography below for a link to my book website.&nbsp;&nbsp;Here\u2019s a few short tips for you&nbsp;from it (in no particular order).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>The moment you share a secret sin with another man (or if you are married, share it with your wife if you are able), the darkness is brought into the light and Satan\u2019s hold over the situation is broken.<br><br><\/li><li>If you are a Christian man. You are in a spiritual battle.\u00a0\u00a0The battle is for your mind and you need more prayer cover than you realise.\u00a0\u00a0You also need to know how to apply the principles of Ephesians 6:10-20.<br><br><\/li><li>The devil is real.\u00a0\u00a0He is forever happy if you believe the lie that says he is a figment of your imagination.\u00a0\u00a0Need convincing?\u00a0\u00a0Treat yourself to this book: 25 truths about Demons and Spiritual Warfare by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.davidhernandezministries.com\">David Diga Hernandes<\/a>.<br><\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>\u2018Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0(Revelation 3:19)<br><br><\/li><li>Jesus says \u2018Crucify your flesh\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0Don\u2019t be surprised that it\u2019s a painful process!<br><br><\/li><li>Fear\u00a0<strong>can<\/strong>\u00a0be conquered by courage and faith in the Lord.<br><br><\/li><li>The devil cannot stand it when you worship Jesus. So what\u2019s stopping you?\u00a0\u00a0Tone deaf?\u00a0\u00a0God knows that, but wants you to sing His praises anyway!\u00a0\u00a0When you do, the devil will flee, chains will fall off, and you will be set free. (See Acts 16:25-36)<br><br><\/li><li>No matter, what you\u2019ve done, God loves you unconditionally.\u00a0\u00a0Embrace this Biblical truth.\u00a0\u00a0Talk to God about your failings and receive the liberating power of forgiveness.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Image Credit: <a href=\"https:\/\/unsplash.com\/@mishalibrahim\">Mishal Ibrahim<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>About the Author<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>I\u2019ve been a church-goer for fifty-four years, but I only became a Bible-believing, Spirit-filled Christian in 1992.\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>For my sins, I am a lifelong follower of Luton Town FC.\u00a0\u00a0Luton are not very good, but our current manager is an overt Christian (Nathan Jones) which is refreshing.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m married to Michele and we live in the East of England.\u00a0\u00a0Michele has written 6 Christian books, visit\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.michelenealuk.com\/\"><em>www.michelenealuk.com<\/em><\/a><em> for more information.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>I mentioned I have written a book for men.\u00a0\u00a0If you want to know more about it, visit my website\u00a0<\/em><a href=\"http:\/\/www.thechristianbookformen.com\/\"><em>www.thechristianbookformen.com<\/em><\/a><em>.\u00a0\u00a0The book\u2019s foreword was kindly written by Michael Cooper who was (until recently) National Director of CVM.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>If you feel you would like to read the book, but can\u2019t afford to buy a copy in the current economic climate, I\u2019ll post a copy FOC to the first 6 men who email me asking for one (see my website for contact details).\u00a0\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>God bless you deeply in these challenging times!<\/em><\/p>\n<div class=\"linkwithin_hook\" id=\"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/50plus\/who-or-what-do-you-turn-to-when-life-is-a-struggle\/\"><\/div><script>\n<!-- \/\/LinkWithinCodeStart\nvar linkwithin_site_id = 897245;\nvar linkwithin_div_class = \"linkwithin_hook\";\n\/\/LinkWithinCodeEnd -->\n<\/script>\n<script src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/widget.js\"><\/script>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.linkwithin.com\/pixel.png?w=750\" alt=\"Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...\" style=\"border: 0\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If someone asked you this today, during lockdown, how might you respond?&nbsp;&nbsp; Well, I guess it might depend who asked you; but either way, as a Christian could you truly respond\u2026&nbsp;&nbsp;\u201cWell, I always turn to Jesus and He sorts my problems out.\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp; Or might you say: \u201cLife struggles?\u00a0\u00a0No, not me\u2026\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m always happy.\u00a0\u00a0Since I became a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n<script>\n<!-- \/\/LinkWithinCodeStart\nvar linkwithin_site_id = 897245;\nvar linkwithin_div_class = \"linkwithin_hook\";\n\/\/LinkWithinCodeEnd -->\n<\/script>\n<script src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/widget.js\"><\/script>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/\"><img src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/pixel.png\" alt=\"Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...\" style=\"border: 0\" \/><\/a>","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":9305,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[319],"tags":[125],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/mishal-ibrahim-unsplash.jpg?fit=1000%2C800&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7PoLK-2pY","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5016,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/demolition-squad\/doubt\/","url_meta":{"origin":9298,"position":0},"title":"Doubt","date":"7 February 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother. Khalil Gibran A few years ago, I was having a conversation with a guy in a coffee shop. At the time I was trying to speak to more people about God, so I shoehorned into the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Demolition Squad&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"Doubt","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/doubt.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6205,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/demolition-squad\/9-coffins\/","url_meta":{"origin":9298,"position":1},"title":"9 Coffins","date":"10 July 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"As I approached the roundabout I could see the helicopter through the top of my windscreen. It was hovering, purposefully, keeping a keen eye on something yet unseen by me. I next caught sight of the police bikes. 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So when he walked into the living room last week, smiling, I don\u2019t think any of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Friends of CVM&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/friends-blog-640x360.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2640,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/50plus\/hour-of-listening\/","url_meta":{"origin":9298,"position":3},"title":"Hour of Listening","date":"12 July 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"On 12th June more than eighty Christian leaders from throughout the UK gathered alongside Parliamentarians for an hour of listening to God in silence in Parliament. Anglicans, Baptists, Catholics, and Christian leaders from a wide cross-section of ministries were present. Following the time of silence they all had an opportunity\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;50 Plus&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/CVM-50plus-blog-640x360.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9398,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/friends-of-cvm\/confessions-of-a-personal-trainer-4\/","url_meta":{"origin":9298,"position":4},"title":"Confessions of a Personal Trainer #4","date":"4 May 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cAnger Management\u201d Dear Friends, I am writing this letter, so that you understand that I am facing \u2018giants\u2019 and need encouragement, more than that I need prayer. It is amazing how when you start out with a project of confessions, the routes taken are unexpected. I am writing these BLOGS\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Friends of CVM&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/confessions-of-a-pt-blog.jpg?fit=610%2C291&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5965,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/thoughts-from-the-cvm-team\/are-we-ready\/","url_meta":{"origin":9298,"position":5},"title":"Are we ready?","date":"10 March 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"A few months back I was in the gym trying my best to lift heavy, or not so heavy, weights as the case may be. 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