{"id":8202,"date":"2018-11-07T05:55:47","date_gmt":"2018-11-07T05:55:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/?p=8202"},"modified":"2018-10-24T13:02:17","modified_gmt":"2018-10-24T13:02:17","slug":"dysfunctional-not-normal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/50plus\/dysfunctional-not-normal\/","title":{"rendered":"Dysfunctional: (Not normal!)"},"content":{"rendered":"

In conversation with a friend recently we found ourselves analysing our families. We were considering those things that have influenced us, particularly areas of family life that emerge when two families come together from differing cultures and backgrounds. What we ourselves bring to make our families seem normal, our inheritance if you like. For example; \u2018We were not allowed a biscuit before dinner because it would ruin our appetite<\/em>\u2019.<\/p>\n

Yet going to a restaurant and having a \u2018starter\u2019 before our main meal was okay?<\/p>\n

So we got around to making judgements on our families. We decided that in some aspects of family life we \/our families were dysfunctional. We have the evidence!<\/p>\n

But I had to stop and reflect on what this word, \u2018dysfunctional\u2019, might mean in the 21st century. I wonder if the word \u2018dysfunctional\u2019 needs to be re-examined. I had to consider what was normal and what was dysfunctional. I also considered those closest to me and had to face up to the truth that I might be the one who is not normal.<\/p>\n

Many of society\u2019s rules have been, and are being re-written. There is acceptance of, or challenges within society\u2019s new norms. We accept the world of communication as being hyper superfast and global: quite different from snail-mail. We observe and can participate in the restructuring of society; seeing it reformed into groups of people who claim identity in innovative and challenging formats. We understand that challenging the character and nature of society is relevant and thanks to the cosmic airways instantly accessible.<\/p>\n

Many in the \u2018non-book\u2019 culture, those who live fully in society but are tagged as \u2018on the margins\u2019, \u2018living on the edge\u2019, \u2018society\u2019s poor\u2019, are they dysfunctional? These people obviously can only be helped if they are told they are dysfunctional and so they can then do something about helping themselves to change their lives. Ouch! Sounds like a political sound bite.<\/p>\n

In his book \u2018Bias to the Poor\u2019. (1983) David Shepherd wrote of \u2018Losers in the Urban Race.\u2019 \u201cMy intention is to try and make it possible to stand in the shoes of the poor.<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

Jesus tells us in the Matthew 26 v 11 that \u2018The poor you will always have with you<\/em>.\u201d But we are also told in John Ch 9 v 1 that \u201cAs Jesus went along\u2026 he met a blind man<\/em>\u2019 he didn\u2019t tell him he was dysfunctional, or poor, or blind, no he asked him \u201cwhat can I do for you?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

At my age (well over 50+!) maybe I have been dysfunctional for many years for I have believed in the way of Jesus and indeed have become a follower, trying to walk in his shoes. Today, as always, being a Christian is a challenge, it\u2019s not normal! We live in a post-modern society where we have freedoms unheard of back in the last decade or even millennium. My standards are challenged. My ability to live and move in society is constantly checked through post millennium concepts that run counter to my own traditions.<\/p>\n

My consolation, Jesus was not normal, in fact I think a case can be made for Jesus being seen as the father of dysfunctionality. Maybe we both need help?<\/p>\n

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Image Credit: Cedric Wilder<\/p>\n

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