{"id":5479,"date":"2014-09-11T07:26:42","date_gmt":"2014-09-11T07:26:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/?p=5479"},"modified":"2016-01-07T10:01:21","modified_gmt":"2016-01-07T10:01:21","slug":"paid-on-the-nail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/50plus\/paid-on-the-nail\/","title":{"rendered":"Paid on the Nail"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>How much do you think you are worth?<\/p>\n<p>Every year I get a pension statement showing how much I have paid in and how much I should get when I retire. It also states how much will get paid out should I die while working.<\/p>\n<p>Also every year I get a benefit statement, which says what pay I get and allowances such as health care and how much the included life insurance will pay out should I die while working.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Twice a year I am reminded that I am worth more dead than alive.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I have recently applied for redundancy, which will probably have come through by the time this is published, so my value to my employer is currently being assessed:\u00a0Am I more valuable to them being employed vs Achieving the target for reduction in headcount and salary savings.<\/p>\n<p>Recently through the wonder that is Twitter I came across this article concerning men and suicide. Made more even significant by the recent suicide of Robin Williams.<\/p>\n<p>The research seems to suggest a combination of 3 factors:<\/p>\n<p><strong>1)<\/strong> A sense of not belonging, of being alone<br \/>\n<strong>2)<\/strong> A sense of not contributing, of being a burden<br \/>\n<strong>3)<\/strong> A capability for suicide, not being afraid to die.<\/p>\n<p>All three of these motivations or preconditions must be in place before someone will attempt suicide. Although women, too, can take their own lives when they suffer at the intersection of &#8220;feeling alone, feeling a burden, and not being afraid to die,&#8221; this is clearly a more male phenomenon.Throughout our lives males take more risks and invite injury more often. We are taught that &#8220;winning isn&#8217;t everything, it&#8217;s the only thing&#8221; and &#8220;no pain, no gain.&#8221;\u00a0We often invest so much of our lives in our work, when we lose our jobs or retire we feel worthless, unable to contribute.\u00a0It&#8217;s a short step to feeling we are a burden on those we love.<\/p>\n<p>We also put less effort into developing and maintaining friendships so we can come to feel more and more alone. Read more <a href=\"http:\/\/goodmenproject.com\/featured-content\/why-men-commit-suicide-the-three-warning-signs-most-people-miss\/\">here<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Applying for redundancy is effectively the start of my retirement.\u00a0Which means according to this article I am approaching a time of my life when men are 6 times more likely to commit suicide. This is an alarming.<\/p>\n<p>How can this statistic be changed?<\/p>\n<p>I suggest 2 ways:<br \/>\n<strong>Firstly<\/strong> &#8211; Understanding your true value &#8211; its not found on a pension or benefit statement.\u00a0Graham Kendrick wrote a <a href=\"http:\/\/www.grahamkendrick.co.uk\/songs\/item\/87\">song<\/a>\u00a0&#8211; &#8220;Paid on the nail&#8221; which asks the question &#8220;How much do you think you are worth?\u00a0The answer is that our lives have been already been valued and a great price has been paid.\u00a0Also see <a href=\"https:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Matthew+6%3A25-34\">Matthew 6 v 25-34<\/a><\/p>\n<p><strong>Secondly<\/strong> there is some good suggestions <a href=\"http:\/\/www.actionforhappiness.org\/10-keys-to-happier-living\">here&#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n<p>So when I finish work, my rough plan is to get more exercise (making up for 8 hours stuck behind a desk every day) and to get involved with something significant, exactly what I have yet to discover.<\/p>\n<p>What about you?<\/p>\n<p>You need to &#8220;belong&#8221; and &#8220;contribute&#8221; for your own well being.<br \/>\nAre you involved in a CVM group? If not then why not?\u00a0If there isn&#8217;t one near you then get together with some guys and start one.<\/p>\n<div class=\"linkwithin_hook\" id=\"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/50plus\/paid-on-the-nail\/\"><\/div><script>\n<!-- \/\/LinkWithinCodeStart\nvar linkwithin_site_id = 897245;\nvar linkwithin_div_class = \"linkwithin_hook\";\n\/\/LinkWithinCodeEnd -->\n<\/script>\n<script src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/widget.js\"><\/script>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.linkwithin.com\/pixel.png?w=750\" alt=\"Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...\" style=\"border: 0\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How much do you think you are worth? Every year I get a pension statement showing how much I have paid in and how much I should get when I retire. It also states how much will get paid out should I die while working. Also every year I get a benefit statement, which says [&hellip;]<\/p>\n<script>\n<!-- \/\/LinkWithinCodeStart\nvar linkwithin_site_id = 897245;\nvar linkwithin_div_class = \"linkwithin_hook\";\n\/\/LinkWithinCodeEnd -->\n<\/script>\n<script src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/widget.js\"><\/script>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/\"><img src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/pixel.png\" alt=\"Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...\" style=\"border: 0\" \/><\/a>","protected":false},"author":36,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[319],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7PoLK-1qn","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4590,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/friends-of-cvm\/code-ode-14-guilty-feelings-part-ii\/","url_meta":{"origin":5479,"position":0},"title":"Code Ode 14: Guilty Feelings (Part II)","date":"11 September 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Read this: 'For God presented Jesus as the sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood\u2026\u2026...God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just and he declares sinners to be right in his\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Friends of CVM&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3994,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/demolition-squad\/the-heart-of-the-matter-the-resurrection\/","url_meta":{"origin":5479,"position":1},"title":"The Heart of the Matter: The Resurrection","date":"29 March 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The Easter\u00a0weekend is massive. It represents the crux of the Christian faith. It is a request to us to hit pause on our lives. Where we spend most of our time gazing forwards, Easter turns our vision back to the single focal point of history. A couple of millenia ago,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Demolition Squad&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4512,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/demolition-squad\/why-did-god-have-to-die\/","url_meta":{"origin":5479,"position":2},"title":"Why Did God Have To Die?","date":"2 August 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\"So, why did God have to die?\" This question, asked by many, runs to the heart of the Christian faith. Had To? Chose To. One of the most well known Bible verses starts this way, \u201cFor God so loved the world \u2026\u201d (John 3:16). Love is a choice. It has\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Demolition Squad&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/why_did_god_have_to_die.jpg?fit=800%2C423&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7058,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/thoughts-from-the-cvm-team\/radical-giving\/","url_meta":{"origin":5479,"position":3},"title":"Radical Giving","date":"28 June 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"So recently I went out to Brazil to spend some time with Everton, our CVM man in Brazil. Everton has a faith that inspires you and challenges you whenever you meet him. I remember on one occasion he came to stay with me in the UK at my place. His\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Team CVM&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5201,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/friends-of-cvm\/who-me-a-gambler\/","url_meta":{"origin":5479,"position":4},"title":"\u2018Who me, a gambler?","date":"7 May 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Following on from his previous blog, Ian Bartlett unpacks his journey to show how God has moved powerfully in his life in relation to the hold gambling had on him. I gave my life to Jesus on 31st March 2010 and I was baptised on May 30th the same year.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Friends of CVM&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/friends-blog-640x360.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6327,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/friends-of-cvm\/code-ode-lets-eat-and-drink-for-tomorrow-we-die\/","url_meta":{"origin":5479,"position":5},"title":"Code Ode: Let\u2019s Eat and Drink for Tomorrow We Die","date":"16 September 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Let's eat and drink for tomorrow we die. Fine, thought St Paul (tongue in cheek) if this life is all there is, (1 Corinthians 15, 32. What do I gain if, humanly speaking, I fought wild beasts at Ephesus? If the dead are not raised, \u201cLet us eat and drink,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Friends of CVM&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/09\/code-ode-banner03.jpg?fit=800%2C400&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5479"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/36"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5479"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5479\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6686,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5479\/revisions\/6686"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}