{"id":5448,"date":"2014-08-21T07:14:48","date_gmt":"2014-08-21T07:14:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/?p=5448"},"modified":"2016-01-07T10:00:35","modified_gmt":"2016-01-07T10:00:35","slug":"confrontation-versus-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/50plus\/confrontation-versus-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Confrontation versus Love?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Confrontation is frequently seen in a negative light!<\/p>\n

We tend to respond differently when confrontation presents itself. This could be as follows:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. The goal is \u2018I\u2019m right and you\u2019re wrong\u2019! It\u2019s my duty to put you right!<\/li>\n
  2. I\u2019m uncomfortable \u2013 so I\u2019ll withdraw; conflicts are hopeless, people cannot change!<\/li>\n
  3. It\u2019s better to be nice, stay friends as differences can be disastrous to a relationship. I may be wrong anyway!<\/li>\n
  4. I\u2019ll meet you half way! A compromise \u2013 both sides give up a portion of their position\/ values.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Perhaps none of these seem to be the right response? There is however a fifth way \u2013 \u2018I want relationship and I also want honesty and integrity\u2019. It has been called \u2018care-fronting\u2019 where there is high concern for relationship and high concern for truth.<\/p>\n

    With \u2018Care-fronting\u2019 you can say \u2018I care about you and about our relationship\u2019 and \u2018I feel deeply about the issues at stake\u2019! This is the most loving and the most growth promoting for human relationships. Sometimes however it is a goal that needs time to be achieved and other responses such as those set out above could be consciously chosen.<\/p>\n

    As you would expect Jesus modelled this approach with exemplary consistency, courage and clarity. Examples are:<\/p>\n

    The woman accused of adultery – \u2018Let anyone among you who has never sinned throw the first stone at her<\/em>\u2019. Such accruate confrontation! \u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026..To the woman, \u2018Where are they all \u2013 did no one condemn you?\u2019 \u2026\u2026\u2019No one , sir\u2019; Neither do I condemn you\u2019<\/em>. Warm understanding care! \u2018Go away and do not sin again\u2019<\/em>. Clear, unmistakable confrontation.<\/p>\n

    To the rich young ruler. Jesus listened to him, loved him and then confronted him. \u2018Go, sell all, give to the poor, and come follow me<\/em>\u2019. What could be more clear?<\/p>\n

    Jesus spoke truth in love. He was truth. He was love. So the Word became flesh; he came to dwell among us, and we saw His glory,\u2026\u2026full of grace and truth<\/em> (John 1:14).<\/p>\n

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