{"id":48,"date":"2009-08-12T10:00:03","date_gmt":"2009-08-12T09:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cvmen.org.uk\/blog\/?p=48"},"modified":"2009-08-12T10:00:03","modified_gmt":"2009-08-12T09:00:03","slug":"real-men-dont-do-church-part-three","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/carls-thoughts\/real-men-dont-do-church-part-three\/","title":{"rendered":"Real Men Don&#039;t Do Church &#8211; Part Three"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Let\u2019s think now about the more personal issues that a man faces.\u00a0 Sure, there will be a fa\u00e7ade that most men construct that says, \u201cHey, I\u2019m doing just great\u201d but behind that there is often a much more raw reality. \u00a0Many men are really wrestling with issues such as sexual temptation (Channel 4 and 5 after 9pm and the Internet), serious debt, failure at work, family communication breakdown, rage and anger etc., yet too often we never touch on these matters, preferring to handle only safe subjects such as parenting, studying the Bible, or tithing.<\/p>\n<h3>If we don\u2019t get real in church we won\u2019t get men.<\/h3>\n<p>How about a seminar for men on a regular basis that tackles issues such as: \u201cOvercoming addiction to pornography and masturbation\u201d (you might not want to give that title but let\u2019s hit the issue because a significant percentage of men who are in church will be seriously struggling with it)<em>. <\/em> Or how about: \u201cDealing with rage\u201d, \u201cHandling your debt\u201d or \u201cWhen promotion passes you by\u201d? Let\u2019s engage the men with some solid Bible-based teaching and let them see that being a Christian isn\u2019t for wimps but for those who have real guts and courage.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s also briefly think about the culture of church:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>We talk of Jesus being our      lover when men want a leader and a captain.<\/li>\n<li>We talk of <em>surrender<\/em> and going on <em>retreat <\/em>which carries connotations of      defeat (and is only mentioned in the Bible in those terms!) But, men <em>will<\/em> bend the knee and <em>submit<\/em> to a higher authority!<\/li>\n<li>The language of personal      devotion time, the \u201cquiet time\u201d is a passive term not suited to those with      testosterone.\u00a0 (Perhaps we can      keep the principle but recast the language?)<\/li>\n<li>Men don\u2019t like to get too close      too soon yet we think it really helpful to break into small groups or say      \u201cgrace\u201d whilst looking into each others eyes.<\/li>\n<li>Men want leadership whilst the      church provides pastoring.<\/li>\n<li>Men love to declare objective      truth about God and yet we sing about our feelings.<\/li>\n<li>Men want to be challenged yet      we wrap the gospel up in fluff.<\/li>\n<li>Whenever we speak of church we      think instinctively of the Sunday meeting not what happens in the rest of      the week.<\/li>\n<li>Most church websites feature      activities for children and use religious jargon.\u00a0 A male turn off.<\/li>\n<li>Most church decoration is      childish or female.<\/li>\n<li>Teaching styles tend to favour      the female psyche.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I\u2019m scratching the surface and you may find cause to disagree with some of what I suggest \u2026 but hopefully it will get us all thinking!?<\/p>\n<div class=\"linkwithin_hook\" id=\"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/carls-thoughts\/real-men-dont-do-church-part-three\/\"><\/div><script>\n<!-- \/\/LinkWithinCodeStart\nvar linkwithin_site_id = 897245;\nvar linkwithin_div_class = \"linkwithin_hook\";\n\/\/LinkWithinCodeEnd -->\n<\/script>\n<script src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/widget.js\"><\/script>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.linkwithin.com\/pixel.png?w=750\" alt=\"Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...\" style=\"border: 0\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Let\u2019s think now about the more personal issues that a man faces.\u00a0 Sure, there will be a fa\u00e7ade that most men construct that says, \u201cHey, I\u2019m doing just great\u201d but behind that there is often a much more raw reality. \u00a0Many men are really wrestling with issues such as sexual temptation (Channel 4 and 5 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n<script>\n<!-- \/\/LinkWithinCodeStart\nvar linkwithin_site_id = 897245;\nvar linkwithin_div_class = \"linkwithin_hook\";\n\/\/LinkWithinCodeEnd -->\n<\/script>\n<script src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/widget.js\"><\/script>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/\"><img src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/pixel.png\" alt=\"Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...\" style=\"border: 0\" \/><\/a>","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[40,125,139],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7PoLK-M","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":41,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/carls-thoughts\/real-men-dont-do-church-part-two\/","url_meta":{"origin":48,"position":0},"title":"Real Men Don&#039;t Do Church &#8211; Part Two","date":"10 August 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Men today still look for robust and strong environments to forge friendships. \u00a0They may not express it like this but men really do desire authentic relationship. \u00a0Men want a \u201cband of brothers\u201d that they can stand shoulder to shoulder with. \u00a0So, they shoot off to the pub, to the match,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Carl Beech&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":36,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/carls-thoughts\/real-men-dont-do-church-part-one\/","url_meta":{"origin":48,"position":1},"title":"Real Men Don&#039;t Do Church &#8211; Part One","date":"7 August 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Men believe themselves to be self-sufficient, all-capable and in no need of a crutch, so why be a Christian? \u00a0That\u2019s for wimps and women isn\u2019t it? \u00a0And nothing at all happens in church that is of any relevance to men, does it? \u00a0And lets face it, frankly a church meeting\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Carl Beech&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3263,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/50plus\/man-sunday\/","url_meta":{"origin":48,"position":2},"title":"Man Sunday","date":"8 November 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Level Four evangelism \u2013 \u201cman-friendly church\u201d was once a far-off, lofty place we only aspired to one day reach. In the meantime, there was a whole stack of work to be shifted in getting Levels One and Two off the ground. (To the uninitiated, in CVM\u2019s Four-Level Evangelism Strategy, these\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;50 Plus&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/CVM-50plus-blog-640x360.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7301,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/thoughts-from-the-cvm-team\/life-work\/","url_meta":{"origin":48,"position":3},"title":"Life &#038; Work","date":"17 January 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Why is it so difficult to get men involved with the church? We don\u2019t have to spend long in many of our churches up and down the country to realise that, in many congregations, there are a lot more women than there are men. Why is this, and is there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Team CVM&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/quickfire-scotland.jpg?fit=526%2C276&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7228,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/news\/international-mens-day-2016\/","url_meta":{"origin":48,"position":4},"title":"International Men&#8217;s Day 2016","date":"19 November 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"So you might have seen that as well as this being \u2018Movember,\u2019 Saturday is International Men\u2019s Day, a day that has been set up to recognise and explore the concerns and challenges that men face. This year the specific focus is; Stop Male Suicide. I am sure there will be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;News&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/international-mens-day.png?fit=927%2C839&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7445,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/friends-of-cvm\/international-womens-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":48,"position":5},"title":"International Women\u2019s Day","date":"8 March 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"It\u2019s International Women\u2019s Day today \u2013 so why is Christian Vision for Men highlighting this? In lots of spheres across the world, people are working for equal opportunities for men and women. CVM is involved in this too\u2026 The problems The current average gender ratio in the UK Church is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Friends of CVM&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/IWD.png?fit=565%2C350&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}