{"id":3294,"date":"2012-11-07T08:00:19","date_gmt":"2012-11-07T08:00:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/?p=3294"},"modified":"2014-09-23T11:34:55","modified_gmt":"2014-09-23T11:34:55","slug":"low-sperm-count-boy-part-4-time-heals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/the-welford\/low-sperm-count-boy-part-4-time-heals\/","title":{"rendered":"Low Sperm Count Boy (Part 4) \u2013 Time Heals"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The famous maxim leads us to believe that time heals, my experience is that this isn\u2019t true. What I am coming to learn is that I don\u2019t want or need it to.<\/p>\n<p>Our first IVF cycle progressed all the way to pregnancy. We found out we were pregnant on a Friday and immediately started passing this news onto our friends and family. We had made the decision early on to be open with people about our journey. However by the middle of the next week the unthinkable had happened and we lost the baby.<\/p>\n<p>Some medical \u2018professionals\u2019 accused us of not being desperate enough to have children, as though our whole life should be aimed at this goal. They didn\u2019t get that we are defined by something bigger. Similarly our miscarriage doesn\u2019t define us, it is something that happened to us. Somedays I can cope without choking up every time I see a baby, other days the desire to have children chokes me as soon as I wake. The pain doesn\u2019t define me, but not to feel it ever wouldn\u2019t be honest or human.<\/p>\n<p>What time can do is give perspective, but for me this is something that came almost immediately. In the days that followed the miscarriage I was sorely tempted to feel sorry for myself and rage at God and anyone who would listen about how unfair the hand I had been dealt was. And then I\u2019d turn on the TV and see Japan ripped apart by disaster after disaster. And I\u2019d realise that I am one very small part in God\u2019s massive creation and I am not the only one going through a hard time, by any stretch of the imagination. I don\u2019t know what you are going through, or what you have been through. But the chance to pray for people going through a more torrid time than I was allowed me to refocus my gaze less selfishly. After all if I love myself enough to pray for my own tragedies then I should do the same for others.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Matthew 22:39 \u2018And the second is like it: \u2018Love your neighbour as yourself.\u2019<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Time may not heal, but it certainly helps.<\/p>\n<div class=\"linkwithin_hook\" id=\"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/the-welford\/low-sperm-count-boy-part-4-time-heals\/\"><\/div><script>\n<!-- \/\/LinkWithinCodeStart\nvar linkwithin_site_id = 897245;\nvar linkwithin_div_class = \"linkwithin_hook\";\n\/\/LinkWithinCodeEnd -->\n<\/script>\n<script src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/widget.js\"><\/script>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/\"><img src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.linkwithin.com\/pixel.png?w=750\" alt=\"Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...\" style=\"border: 0\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/a>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The famous maxim leads us to believe that time heals, my experience is that this isn\u2019t true. What I am coming to learn is that I don\u2019t want or need it to. Our first IVF cycle progressed all the way to pregnancy. We found out we were pregnant on a Friday and immediately started passing [&hellip;]<\/p>\n<script>\n<!-- \/\/LinkWithinCodeStart\nvar linkwithin_site_id = 897245;\nvar linkwithin_div_class = \"linkwithin_hook\";\n\/\/LinkWithinCodeEnd -->\n<\/script>\n<script src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/widget.js\"><\/script>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/\"><img src=\"http:\/\/www.linkwithin.com\/pixel.png\" alt=\"Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...\" style=\"border: 0\" \/><\/a>","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[312],"tags":[468,458,467,101,447],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7PoLK-R8","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3228,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/the-welford\/low-sperm-count-boy-part-3-misreading-the-signs\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":0},"title":"Low Sperm Count Boy (Part 3) &#8211; (Mis)Reading the Signs","date":"24 October 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Upon hearing our story many people are amazed by our faith. I don\u2019t see it entirely that way. As I look back on events that have transpired I see God\u2019s hand at work in a myriad of ways. These are mostly small and the sum of their parts gives me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Welford&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3474,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/the-welford\/low-sperm-count-boy-part-6-the-worst-day-of-the-year\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":1},"title":"Low Sperm Count Boy (Part 6) &#8211; The Worst Day of the Year","date":"12 December 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"For couples who struggle to conceive Fathers' Day and Mothers' Day can be some of the hardest days of the year. As soon as you check Facebook you are assailed with reminders of the day which then reminds you of the fact that you are not a parent. Church services\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Welford&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/q1wy6MGoG7Y\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3467,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/the-welford\/low-sperm-count-boy-part-5-catalogue\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":2},"title":"Low Sperm Count Boy (Part 5) &#8211; Catalogue","date":"5 December 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"After the miscarriage we decided to try IVF one more final time. There were more occurrences that could have been taken as \u2018signs\u2019 from God. Including almost half the money required arriving on our doorstep over the course of a weekend. We hadn\u2019t asked anyone for any help. But unfortunately\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Welford&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8869,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/thoughts-from-the-cvm-team\/brokenhearted-men\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":3},"title":"Brokenhearted Men","date":"20 May 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"I was thinking about \u2018heartbreak\u2019 the other day. The term makes me think of something from school, a bit childish and I have pictures of those sweets made into heart shapes. However, I think this all fails to deal with the silent pandemic of heart break in men.\u00a0 Let me\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Team CVM&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/nijwam-swargiary-oMnAKV902LA-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4771,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/friends-of-cvm\/proclaiming-the-dictionary-incorrect\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":4},"title":"Proclaiming the Dictionary Incorrect","date":"6 November 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"When I was a lot younger I was convinced that the word chimney had an \u2018L\u2019 in it. That\u2019s right I thought the word was pronounced chimley. I\u2019m sure as you say that out loud to yourself you, like me, realise that this is a much more audibly pleasing word.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Friends of CVM&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/friends-blog-640x360.jpg?fit=640%2C360&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3090,"url":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/the-welford\/low-sperm-count-boy-part-2-the-sperminator\/","url_meta":{"origin":3294,"position":5},"title":"Low Sperm Count Boy (Part 2) &#8211; The Sperminator","date":"4 October 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"WARNING: This is a 'raw' entry dealing with masturbation, don't read it if you are likely to be offended. When I was 18 I went on a Christian year out. I don\u2019t remember much of the training but I do remember them shipping in an elderly gent to talk to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Welford&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3294"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3294"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3294\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5622,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3294\/revisions\/5622"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3294"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3294"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.cvm.org.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3294"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}