In Silence

My eyes are bloodshot. This working week has been the most challenging of my life. The man who holds my “journalism career” in his one hand, delivered a blow to my head with his other. This working week I have been asking myself those life questions which wake you up at 2.47am and force you to the living room for a brew. I have been guilty of worrying this week.

As I sat at home after being told I wasn’t a good enough journalist to complete my training, I filled the flat with noise. It’s weird how I try and squeeze out any struggles with my television, the kitchen radio and youtube. My flat become like a poor man’s version of Dixons. It was only when my head hit my pillow that I was faced with the reality of silence.

I sat at the edge of my bed and stared at some scripture scribbled on the back of my door. “Be Still and Know that I am God.”

I lay back and allowed those words to fill my mind which was chewing on the hurtful mantra spoken by an old journalist hours earlier.

In a tearful moment of clarity I knew what had happened. For a few days I had believed the lie which  has been lapped up by countless men before me. The lie which softly says: “Career is more important that character.”

I asked myself if I was taking solace in God as an excuse for not trying hard in my daily life. My bloodshot eyes answered that for me nicely.

I slept straight through.

Jesus tells us not to store up riches on Earth but to invest in a kingdom which will last forever.

I laugh at how serious I take myself sometimes. My big important career. Yeah right. If our careers develop but our characters stand still, we will become souless beings pointing to our suits and ties like trophies as our hearts slip away like a child suspended from school.

Jesus does not care about my career anywhere near as much as he does my character. And amen to that. Because apparently I’d make a better clown than a journalist.

Peace.