(Part two of the Eden Series)

One of the most compelling aspects of my job is also one of the most tragic: seeing the state of spirituality amongst British men. And the common denominator in most spiritual tragedies is usually a misguided foundation stone. It seems that many of us are tempted to plant our feet of faith onto how we feel at any given point. We all want a sign from God that our heart’s desires will come true. We chase after biblical extras in the hope that we would feel something other than how we feel right now. But from my trekking up and down every major motorway in the UK, I believe that nothing good comes from a faith based on ‘feeling good’. Or indeed as Jesus said: “A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign.”

But as I encounter all sorts of Christian faith on this island, I see further proof that not only is God real, the Bible sovereign and the Sprit active, but that there is an almighty restoration project being carried out in everyone who trusts in Jesus.

(And part of me doesn’t even know if the restoration is always taking place on a conscious level.)

Peter Gladwin, Richard Taylor, Rob Joy, Paul Gask, Tim Brown. These are the names of just five new friends I have got to know in recent times. They’re also five men who are walking proof that the Creator can reconstruct any man, in any situation. All the above names were men who looked at Jesus when their life map fell through.

And I think the reason why I am humbled to meet guys like this, is because their stories are far more powerful than the wham bam thank you ma’am spirituality that seems to draw a lot of Christians in our culture. God’s reconstruction of our characters is incredibly good news for our friends who don’t yet know the Good News.

Which faith lasted longest, those dramatically rescued during the parting of the Red Sea, or the salt of the Earth Jesus’ follower Stephen? Within days of the Red Sea parting those who were delivered from death were already questioning their God. Stephen never saw miracles of such grandeur, but his last words, spoken as religious men hurled rocks at his fractured skull, were declarations of God’s power and truth.

So why do we still chase after new revelations, extra blessings and signs? Are we not content with the fact that God has the power and the inclination to reconstruct a broken man like me into something stronger?

What does your week look like? How trashed is your Eden? The Bible says that some us will allow false teachers and bad influences into our spiritual houses. If that’s the state of affairs for your Eden, let me tell you that all is not lost by any stretch. Your loving heavenly father has his hand above the ‘Reconstruct’ button, waiting for you to give him the green light. Would we be the followers who ask God for signs of truth or those who ask him to make us the signs to Truth?

As you read this, God is reconstructing the traces of Eden in the lives of millions.

2 Peter 1:3-4

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

Peace

*The Reconstructed Eden is the second part of Alex Willmott’s Eden Series.

Next Friday, CVM will publish part three: ‘The Return of Eden’.

I have a big gob. I often put my foot in it. When I was a teenager I worked, for a time, in Safeways. This time was characterised by complaints. One day I was on the till serving a member of staff who had just got off work. She noticed my WWJD band and asked about it, and I promptly explained. The elderly couple next in line seemed somewhat fidgety and were looking around quite a lot. After I had finished serving the member of staff they approached and I learned what their problem was.

‘Do you think it’s right’ started the old lady ‘that you spend all that time talking to a member of staff when there are customers waiting?’ Now let me state for the record that I hadn’t taken any longer than usual, our conversation had lasted the time it took me to scan her shopping and take her money, with that in mind, I retorted politely ‘Ma’am if you knew me you would know that I am a polite young man who talks to all my customers, because that’s just the way I am.’ At this reasonable reply the old lady’s husband made to storm off to customer services. ‘Leave it’ said the old lady ‘We have never had this before.’ To which I replied ‘Unfortunately I get it everyday.’ At which the old man promptly stormed off to complain.

I was speaking to a group of men about being disappointed with God and how within that, we can run our mouths off to Him and whoever will listen. Before we know it the reason for our disappointment starts to define us rather than being defined by our creator. Listen to Job after God reminds him of who his Creator is:

Job 40: 1-5: ‘The Lord said to Job: ‘Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!’ Then Job answered the Lord: ‘I am unworthy – how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer – twice, but I will say no more.’

Could we learn from Job – that once we have got our grievance, rant, point of view, or whatever it is out, once we have spoken, we will not speak it out again. But instead put our hands over our mouth – forcibly if needed. And the reason? So we don’t dwell in the pit of despair, but instead sit before God in reverence and awe, holding our hands over our mouths.

Part One

“Made in Cheena” the little girl said, as she read the bottom of her tiny doll. Her mispronunciation of the word brought a smile to her mum’s face, and mine. “China” her mother said, resisting the temptation to laugh. The girl repeated the word perfectly whilst looking directly at me. “Well done” I said, as a responsible adult.

She carried all the typical characteristics of a four-year-old. She was so interested in her surroundings that her eyes followed any movement like a cat in a disco. There was something peaceful about watching a mum read a newspaper next to her daughter who was visibly learning the ropes of life. I never thought I’d feel at peace in council offices to be honest.

It wasn’t long before the little girl grew bored of the space around her. She turned to her mum and watched her read the national paper left generously on the coffee table. And then I felt a strange notion dwell within me. As I clocked the front page of the paper, which projected the word MURDER in huge red writing, I found myself wanting to hide the headline from the child. There’s no doubt in my head that children often carry an unpolluted air, which has seemingly escaped many adults. I guess I didn’t want to see this air of innocence tarnished by the brutality that runs down the spine of this world. I wanted to tear the front page off. I wanted to protect the glimpses of Eden in this girl’s eyes.

Of course, this was impossible, and so I watched the scene unfold. It started with the girl attempting to read the front page that separated her from her mum’s gaze. “What does that say?” she enquired. The mum turned to where the girl was pointing, before quietly whispering the word ‘murder’.

The cogs inside the child’s head were almost audible as she tried to associate the word with an action. She looked at her mum like a lion cub trying to work out how to digest a first solid meal. The mother lowered the paper and explained that murder was something done by bad people. She went on to say that it was when one person hurts another so seriously that they are no longer living.

I was waiting for the inevitable question. The question that is pretty much prohibited in the ‘evolved’ western world. The little girl mumbled the question ‘why?’

I didn’t hear the mum’s response. I was moved almost to tears at the expression on the child’s face though. A morbid revelation dawned on her, as it has done with me these last few months. The revelation that we ruined Eden.

There was a world where murder hadn’t even been conceived, a world where the creator walked amongst his beloved. It was a place designed to last forever, until humanity fell victim to the greatest and most horrible act of deception ever to pass through the horizon of this world. And though early man and woman didn’t set out to destroy Eden, they ended up driving in the final nails personally.

The feeling that brought me to tears in the council offices watching the air of innocence diminish around the life of a child, was not just sadness, it was guilt. No, I haven’t murdered anyone to date, but I am responsible for the destruction, depletion and ruin of Eden. And whether or not you call Jesus ‘Lord’ we have something in common. Both you and I took God’s perfect plan, and smashed it across his alter. And the symptom of Eden’s downfall is still rife within us both. It’s the common denominator in almost every waking thought. It’s the DNA constant. It’s the fact that when all is said and done, we will never love our neighbour as we love ourselves.

Isaiah 64:6

“All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.”

Peace.

*The Ruined Eden is the first part of Alex Willmott’s Eden Series.

Next Friday, CVM will publish part two: ‘The Reconstructed Eden’.

It’s pretty much the law that when Bohemian Rhapsody comes on the radio, every man has to lose the plot. It’s a bit more tricky when you’re driving. However, an aggressive thrashing of the head is still obligatory nonetheless. 

I had been skipping radio stations like a dog chewing on a remote control as I headed to CVM HQ on Wednesday. It felt like a thousand years since I had heard any station play a decent song, but then it arrived. (I’ve never had a visitation by an angel, but I can’t imagine it would have been much better than hearing the first lines: “Is this the real life, Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality…” )

My head began to follow the tones of one of the greatest bands ever to have graced the stage. And halfway through the song, the listener gets to say hello to one of the most epic guitar riffs this side of Neptune. My head began to thrash more powerfully than the meat wagons flying down the M18.

I did everything right. I turned the volume up, I positioned my car in a safe place in the road, and I fell in sync with every other man who was listening to BBC Radio Two at that time.

What I hadn’t accounted for was the bus full of school teenagers beside me. Ah, yes, the giddiness of young people on a school trip. Unfortunately, the entire one side of the vehicle were watching me throw my head back and forth like a duck being battered with a crow bar.

As I meandered down the motorway, away from the mocking teenagers, I began to laugh at myself. And then my laughter became out and out hysterics.

Call me twee, but I pictured my creator laughing with me. We rarely picture God as a personal being with emotions, but the Bible clearly teaches us that God is full of life. And as he sees the whole of time stretched out before him like a till roll, he would have known exactly what was going to happen in my car on Wednesday. And as insignificant as that moment was, I’d like to think that God the Father, and the Lord Jesus, were taking a moment to laugh at the their son, and clown, me.

But whatever the case may be, I’ll leave you with this: “I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathy, because I’m easy come, easy go, little high, little low, any way the wind blows doesn’t really matter to me… to me.”

Peace.

I couldn’t believe it; he was sat up against the cash machine. I’ve never been offended by those who ask for ‘spare change’ but this guy was actually sitting against the dispenser. I was tempted to walk around the corner to a different bank but I wasn’t going to change direction for anyone.

I approached the machine and smiled at the man. His hair hung at different lengths like an old mop. His eyes were bloodshot, with a strange expression of happiness. I assumed he must be under the influence of something illegal.

“Morning” I said quietly. Secretly I was hoping my pleasantry would mute any further conversation between the two of us. The man smiled at me as I took £20 from the annoyingly slow machine. I began to walk away when the man spoke. “After all I’ve done for you mate,” he said.

I don’t know why his remark annoyed me, but it did. In fact, it made me angry enough to stop dead in my tracks on Parliament Street. What on earth did this guy mean ‘After all I’ve done for you’?

I glanced over my shoulder with an air of nonchalance and met the man’s vacant stare. “Are you serious?” I asked him.

As there were no people around us, I thought I’d embark upon a conversation with this intriguing character. It had been a long time since I’d gone toe to toe with someone clearly in the wrong.

“It’s ok, you’ve nothing to worry about mate,” he said. Though his manner was one of peace, he may as well have been screaming at me through a microphone, because everything he said was making me wince with anger. It wasn’t the fact he had positioned himself by the cash machine. It wasn’t the fact he was overtly trying to entice people to part with their hard-earned cash. It was the fact that he was insinuating that I actually owed him something. For all he knew I might have been withdrawing cash to pay a ransom for some poor soul overseas.

“I’m not worried old friend,” I said. “However, I am interested to know what you mean.” As I stood over him like a schoolteacher approaching a kid in the naughty chair, I noticed he was clutching dirty tissues in each hand. (An obvious sign of an addiction there.)

He calmly replied: “I would stand up, but I find it uncomfortable, you can sit with me if you like.”

Incredible, in just three sentences this man offended me financially, emotionally and physically. When does anyone have the time to sit on the pavement and chat to a stranger in the middle of a working day? I’m all for social action, don’t get me wrong, but I’m also a big fan of working hard. And I’m paid to work hard.

“I’d love to sit and have a chat mate, but I’m in work at the moment. But feel free tell me what you mean by everything you’ve done for me.”

The man shuffled towards me like an injured dog. I crouched down to make myself look like I wasn’t too far above his status, which he seemed to appreciate.

“I’ve make myself available for businessmen, that’s all. Look mate, a lot of people are busy these days, I know that. But that’s why I’ve been making myself available for chats.”

I should have kept my mouth shut and walked away, but I couldn’t resist. “So you just happen to be sitting next to the busiest cash machine in York then.”

“No, this is intentional” he said.

“So why did you intend to sit here then mate?” I replied.

“Because most people are addicted to money these days, there’s always people here to chat with.”

Ok I’ll be honest; he won that round fair and square. I didn’t doubt for a second that he was simply a beggar interested solely in getting my money, but I definitely underestimated his level of eloquence.

I repositioned myself like a boxer preparing his final round of attack. I took a deeper breath than usual before responding. However, milliseconds before I unleashed my rebuttal, I saw that the tissues he was clutching in his hands were wet. On a closer inspection, I saw that it wasn’t dirt covering the rags, but blood. He’d been stabbed.

“Mate, you need a doctor, come on I’ll give you a lift to the hospital.” He smiled at me again.

“It’s not funny mate, you’re losing a lot of blood, we need to go,” I shouted.

The man looked at both his hands before using the side of the cash point to get to his feet. It seemed to take an age. He wasn’t wearing any shoes either, what a clown. Suddenly, I began to feel pangs of guilt. Moments earlier I was actually about to unleash the dogs of war on this disabled homeless man. I thought I’d cancel out my feelings of guilt by getting this guy to hospital. (That’s how my sin usually works, one good deed to erase the bad.)

He stood at about six feet tall and looked directly at me. Despite standing in severe discomfort, he still showed no signs of anxiety. He put his bloodied hand on my right shoulder, and said: “It’s ok Alex, these wounds are old. I didn’t mean any offence by what I said earlier. I just want you to know that I’m available for a chat if you’d like. Take it easy.”

He limped off with blood trailing behind him. I saw an open wound in his side and thorns in the back of his head. I looked towards where he’d been sat and saw an old sign that read: “This is Jesus, the King of the Jews.” In the distance there were countless armies singing his name. Crowds from every tribe and nation were on their knees on the horizon. I stared at the wet the crimson path and longed for another chance to chat with my saviour.

Matthew 25:31-46

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

Peace.

“You are rubbish. Honestly you are a total idiot. No one else would waste so much as successfully as you do. No one else would use their time for such idiotic escapades. Who else do you know that abuses grace so profoundly as you? To be honest mate, why don’t you just jack it all in? You lack discipline and you’re probably never going to have enough to be good enough! Yes there’s always grace, but don’t you think you have pushed it a bit too far? How many times can someone like you be forgiven? Does God really forgive everything?! You’re not so sure are you? Why don’t you go out and spoil yourself – there’s a whole world out there to make you feel better – go for it kid. After all if you’re going to ruin everything you touch you may as well have fun doing it.”

This is why satan is called the accuser.

Revelation 12:10-11 (NIV)

Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.

“Do not be disheartened. Nobody is more sinful than anyone, but not everyone tries to follow Christ like you do. The fact that you try brings me great joy. Sometimes you need me to give you a nudge when you’re drifting off the path, but that’s how I show you I care about your adventure. You claim you don’t understand grace, but your life, your determination and your resilience tells a different story. It’s a story of me teaching you the ways of your saviour Jesus.

I was sent to remind you of the good when all you can see is the bad.

Do you realise what a privileged position you hold? At your best you reflect God’s light into the darkness, at your worst you are an example of God’s grace.

I know what has been said to you by the accuser. But listen to me. God really has forgiven you for everything. This forgiveness is free to those who believe and follow Jesus, the Way the Truth and the Life. I know what you’re thinking; what about the times when you find it too hard? Well, it’s those times that I am here to have the last word.”

This is why the Holy Spirit is called the comforter.

 John 14:15-18 AMP

“If you [really] love Me, you will keep (obey) My commands. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever - The Spirit of Truth, Whom the world cannot receive (welcome, take to its heart), because it does not see Him or know and recognise Him. But you know and recognise Him, for He lives with you [constantly] and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans [comfortless, desolate, bereaved, forlorn, helpless]; I will come [back] to you.”

My friend. I want to tell you that the light inside you is stronger than the darkness that surrounds you. That if your every request would result in your happiness I would surely give them to you. If giving you your desires would be truly beneficial, you would have them all. But we both know that learning and changing takes time, and the journey is as important as the destination.

I want to answer all your questions, but if you are honest, most of them are smokescreens so you don’t have to answer my questions. What do you think will happen? Do you really think I will leave you? Give up on you? Walk out on you? Punish you?

My friend would I have gone to the cross if I didn’t believe I could save you, and in saving you bring you into life as it was created, by me coincidentally, to be? To understand grace you first have to know you need it. And because you need it, come and learn from it, because when everyone has given up on you, I am still standing here. I stand with a gift of grace with your name on it.

Yours Truly,

The Captain.

It was a busy road and it was the busiest time of the day; morning rush hour. But it was my regular route to work and, despite cars being parked on both sides of the road, I was used to it, and vehicles of all shapes and sizes travelling in both directions were just about able to pass each other safely.

Occasionally however, a big bus came along.

Even though I was safely tucked in between two parked cars, the impatient idiot inside me stupidly asked:  ‘Do I sit here and wait for the X-62 to pass or do I take my chances and go for it?’ After deciding on the latter, and quickly realising it was the wrong choice and that I’d horribly misjudged the size of the gap, there was really only one thing left to do: to get out of the way of the bus, even if it meant smashing the wing mirror off an inconveniently parked Vauxhall Vectra.

And that’s exactly what happened.

The noise was worse than if a fridge had been pushed off a cliff and landed on concrete – but with added pop – and the mirror, or bits of mirror, landed a long way from the car it was no longer attached to. It flew through the ice cold Northumberland air – in truth, I was fortunate it hadn’t flown into a sleepy school-goer or crazy masochistic morning jogger.

Of course, I pulled over and left a note for the owner of the Vectra, dusted myself off, felt incredibly angry with myself for making such an awful decision, kept telling myself ‘if only I’d waited six more seconds …’ and carried on to work feeling incredibly grumpy.

More than a few teachers that I work with noticed that I wasn’t my ‘chirpy self’ and when I told them why, I was astounded as to how shocked they were that I didn’t simply drive on, inviting the opportunity to ask them ‘well, what would Jesus do, eh?’ and opening up a few interesting conversations leaving more than a few work colleagues with little doubt as to what I believed in and how I try to live by it day in, day out.

I received a call from the Vectra-minus-a-mirror man later that day, and the damage was far worse than I had anticipated money wise.

It made me think though – well, if it cost over £200 to fix some bloke’s car, who cares? I got to name check Jesus to a bunch of work colleagues today. Although that had been a huge positive to coincide with a most unfortunate and pricey incident, I had to quickly remind myself – no, wait a minute here – this didn’t need to happen in order for me to open up about my faith – we can share the gospel for free.

‘…you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you. And you will be my witnesses, telling people about me everywhere – in Jerusalem, throughout Judea, in Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.’ Acts 1:8

As it doesn’t cost a penny, and it’s the best news you could ever give to anybody, I should really start sharing it more often.

I probably have at least two things in common with the average Christian man:

1) We both think Jesus is who he claims to be. 2) We doubt that he can actually save our friends and family.

Three times in the last three weeks I have heard the phrase: “I couldn’t take my friends to a full on Bible event because they’re not in that place yet.” The more I’ve thought about that notion, the sicker I feel in my soul. Not only do we assume that our friends and family have no interest in the message of Jesus, but even more disturbingly, we doubt that Jesus is as effective as he once was. When we doubt that our friends and family could start their own walk with Christ today, we actually doubt the power of the cross, the words of Christ and the resurrection of the saviour.

And, what is equally as terrifying, is the idea that we know the thoughts and feelings of our friends and family more than the God who created them. How dare I think that contemporary way to share my faith is the pivotal part of someone’s salvation? How dare I claim to have the monopoly on God’s perfect Gospel?

A few days ago I was given the most amazing compliment in the form of an insult. After sharing my thoughts on preaching the Christian message in a post-Christian culture, a young leader said: “Ah, you’re one of those old-fashioned guys who would just preach the Bible, we’re trying to do something new.” (My soul was at ease in the knowledge that at least I’m doing something right in this sin-ridden life of mine.)

The tragic irony of diluting, compromising and editing the full message of Jesus, is two fold:

- This month I have heard a group of atheists chatting as they left a guest church service. One turned to another and said: “I was expecting more Bible to be honest, I’m a bit disappointed.”

- If I hadn’t been given the full message of Jesus when I was 16-years-old, ten years ago this week, I’d have missed out on a friendship with Jesus.

There is no fence between offense and defence. Jesus said people are either following him or they’re not. Why then, do we think we have a better, more suitable message for those without Jesus? What is it that actually saves a man? I actually think that some contemporary Christians are hoping to trick their loved ones into the Kingdom. “HAHA! You thought I was just being nice when I was offering prayer and saying ‘God Bless’ but look where you are now…You’re a Christian and there’s nothing you can do about it!!!”

Have we forgotten that we’re just delivery boys in this world? Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and family, but the message I carry is far more valuable than the way I approach their front door.

And finally, to end this extremely rare outburst, it turns out that those guys who accept invites to Church Services and Weekends Away, actually want to know more about Jesus! Isn’t that weird? But you probably don’t want to give them the whole message of Christ though. Oh no, just wait until they’re on their knees begging for sanctification through the blood of the living atonement of the risen lamb. Then you really can fill your boots!

Peace

On Saturday’s CVM Men’s Day in Scarborough, Nick Welford modelled transparency, honesty and integrity in his final challenge. He had never shared this story before the event.

Sometimes things must come out into the light. When I was a young teenager I was at a church event. The family of one of the church members were visiting. I was hanging out with the other youth and a lad from this family walked by, he was about the same age as me. He was disabled, and as he walked one of his legs dragged behind him. Our group all stopped and stared. And when he was gone, I, in all my wisdom, did an impression of his walk. The whole group laughed, until we looked up and saw this lad standing at the end of the corridor watching us. My friends rounded on me and berated me.

I tell you this story for one reason – it still haunts me. Even though it was 20 years ago and the man writing this is totally different to the attention-seeking arrogant teenager, I still wake up feeling guilty and shameful. How can I call myself a Christian? How can God love me when I could do that? And as I deconstruct myself, more memories of my failings assault me. Times when I didn’t measure up, when I deliberately went against God.

Damien Rice sings a song called ‘I remember’ and in it is the line ‘God will forgive me but I whip myself!’ And that’s the rub isn’t it? God can forgive us but if we can’t forgive ourselves we will struggle with to persevere. In Romans 5 Paul says this: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.”

When we can’t forgive ourselves we suffer but suffering can produce perseverance as long as we don’t dwell too long in the pit of suffering. Unfortunately that is a place many of us dwell.

Jesus tells us that we are the light of the world, and that we should not hide that light. When we wallow in self pity, shame and guilt we are effectively hiding our light. The fact is that the light is inside us is greater than the darkness that surrounds us – because that light is Jesus. The only person who can diminish the light inside us is ourselves! There is a quote in the film Night Watch that says this: “It is easier for a man to destroy the Light inside himself than to defeat the darkness all around him.” It is time for us to stop snuffing out the light and start the march on the darkness.

The prodigal son wasted his inheritance and ended up in a pig sty eating pig food. When we wallow in shame and self pity that is exactly where we end up, eating pig food oblivious to the fact that the Father is waiting to throw us a huge party.

I don’t know what wakes you up in the middle of the night and causes you guilt and shame, I don’t know how you have failed, but I do know that unless you use your suffering to persevere you will eat pig food for the rest of your life.

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