You want to see me angry? Come and watch me play 5aside. It might not happen every week but come a few weeks in a row and sure enough the incredible sulk will appear. The source of my anger? Me. Although if you are participating you might think my childish strops are directed at others. Off the pitch I am entirely realistic about my footballing skills – I’m no slouch, but I’m not going to be signing any contracts soon. However on the pitch I seem blinded to my middling skills, I demand perfection from my every touch, pass and shot. And should I mess up? Well then I am my harshest critic, I cannot forgive myself for any lapse in my imagined footballing skill.

What is amplified on the 5aside pitch plays out more subtly in real life. In real life I find it equally hard to live under grace, but not because I demand perfection from my every move. In life I am far too aware of my faults and this makes it hard to believe I deserve any grace at all. And what does this refusal to live under grace say? It tells God that I basically believe his sacrifice to be worthless. If I don’t live in the freedom and grace that Jesus died to provide in essence I am mocking His death. I am doubting that God is good to His word, that He knows what He is doing.

When Moses was told God’s plan he also had some doubts. When Job suffered awful loss He also had some questions regarding God’s methods. What did God say to Moses? To Job? What does He say to me?

‘Who are you that you question my plans? Do you see the bigger picture or just your own small world? Man up and answer my questions! Did you make the lips or cause man to speak? Did you put the breath into his lungs? Did you call light out of the darkness and cause it to shine? Did you carve mountains from rock, and sweep valleys into existence? Where were you when I built the earth? Did you measure the sky? Can you sue God for malpractice? Can you make a claim that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to me. Why do you refuse to live in freedom? Why do you chain yourself to guilt and regret? Did you design life? Is this your better way of living? Aren’t you tired of trying so hard? Of judging others and being judged? Will you humble yourself and watch me? Learn from me? Come to me, learn how grace works, I will not force anything on you. I will not burden you with more than you can handle and I will never desert you. Can you say the same?’
(Cobbled together from Job 38 onwards, Exodus 3 & 4, and Matthew 11 with a liberal sprinkingly of my own paraphrasing!)
Previously published on Ebs and Flows …

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Sunday saw two huge matches in the Premier League. Manchester United kept up their seven-point lead ahead of local rivals Manchester City with a 2-1 win over Liverpool at Old Trafford.

Robin van Persie turned in Ashley Young’s low cross in the first half and his free-kick was turned in by Nemanja Vidic to make it 2-0 before Liverpool mounted somewhat of a comeback.

Daniel Sturridge scored on the league debut and the visitors pressed for an equaliser that wouldn’t come for the rest of the second half.

Manchester City took on Arsenal in the day’s second game at the Emirates Stadium.

Laurent Koscielny was sent off for holding on to Edin Dzeko in the penalty area and although the City striker missed the resulting spot-kick he saw teammate James Milner put City ahead before turning in after Szczesny saved from Carlos Tevez.

Vincent Kompany was also sent off late on for a dangerous tackle but Arsenal were unable to capitalise and the game finished 2-0.

On Saturday, Chelsea attempts to keep up the pressure on the top two continued in a comfortable 4-0 win over Stoke.

Saracens and Harlequins maintained their positions at the top of their pools in the Heineken Cup, qualifying for the quarter-finals.

Saracens trailed by ten points at half time to Racing Metro but restricted their opponents to three points in the second half and mounted a great comeback, with Owen Farrell kicking a Heineken Cup record ten penalties on the way to a 37-28 win.

Harlequins kept up their 100% record in the competition, beating Connacht 47-8 at the Stoop. They notched up six tries on the way to a 47-8 win.

Ospreys drew 15-15 with Leicester to give the advantage to the English side in the race to qualify from the group, Exeter lost 46-3 to Clermont Auvergne and Cardiff went down 45-25 at Toulon.

Scott Waites beat Tony O’Shea 7-1 to win the BDO World Darts Championship for the first time in his career.

Waites never let his opponent into the match and raced into an early lead. He was 5-0 before O’Shea got a set on the board and he maintained his composure to win the remaining two sets that were required.

The defeat was O’Shea’s third in World Championship finals, having previously lost to Ted Hankey in 2009 and Christian Kist in last year’s final.

The Masters snooker got underway yesterday, with Neil Robertson beating Ding Junhui 6-5, having trailed 5-3.

In the day’s other match, Mark Allen beat Mark Davis 6-2 to progress to the quarter-final.

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All but one of the 32 ties in the third round of the FA Cup were played at the weekend and most of the big boys made it into the draw for the fourth round.

Manchester City and Chelsea both had comfortable win, beating Watford and Southampton 3-0 and 5-1 respectively.

Luis Suarez returned to the headlines for the wrong reasons after used his hand to control the ball before scoring the match-winning goal against non-league Mansfield and went on to celebrate by kissing the hand in front of the opposition supporters.

The goal made it 2-0 to Liverpool and secured the win despite Matt Green’s late strike.

Manchester United relied on an injury-time equaliser from talisman Robin van Persie to draw 2-2 with West Ham.

Arsenal also had to settle for a replay against Premier League opposition having also drawn 2-2 with Swansea.

Michu scored within seconds of coming on for the home side and Danny Graham scored a late equaliser either side of goals from Lukas Podolski and Kieran Gibbs which had looked like giving Arsenal the victory.

The Hammers went ahead through two near-indentical headed goals from James Collins after Tom Cleverley had put United in front but substitute van Persie rifled home a long ball from Ryan Giggs to set up a replay.

Brighton beat Newcastle in the cup for the second season in a row. This time they won 2-0 with goals coming from Andrea Orlandi and Will Hoskins.

The other big giant-killing headline came from Macclesfield after the non-league side sent out Championship leaders Cardiff.

Matthew Barnes-Horner scored a late goal and then held his nerve to score a penalty which sent his side into the fourth round.

They may be rewarded with a tie against Premier League opposition, having been drawn against the winners of the replay between Wigan and Bournemouth.

India A humiliated England, beating the visitors by 53 runs in the opening warm-up one-day of their tour.

England were set a target of 229 in the weather-affected match but could only make 175 and were bowled out within 36 overs.

The performance of Ian Bell was the only positive to be taken from England’s innings after he scored 91.

There were wins for all the top sides in the Aviva Premiership at the weekend. Harlequins remain at the top after beating London Welsh 31-26, gaining a bonus point.

Saracens beat lowly Sale 32-12 and Leicester kept up the pressure on the top two with a 19-14 win at Worcester.

And Andy Murray’s Australian Open preparations continued well as he retained his Brisbane Open title in a final against Grigor Dimitrov, winning 7-6 (7-0) 6-4.

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Chelsea were the only team to gain maximum points from their three games played over the festive period so far.
They followed up their 8-0 thrashing of Aston Villa with wins over Norwich and Everton.

Manchester United fought back from drawing with Swansea to stretch their lead over Manchester City to seven points, coming from behind to win 4-3 over Newcastle and beating West Brom 2-0.

City dropped points against Sunderland, losing 1-0, and came through tight games with Reading and Norwich 1-0 and 4-3 respectively.

In the Aviva Premiership, Saracens moved up to second in the table after narrowly defeating Northampton 17-16.
Sarries raced into an 11-0 lead but the visitors replied with a converted try of their own and would have won it had Stephen Meyler not missed a last-minute penalty.

They move to within a point of league leaders Harlequins who beat London Irish 26-15 at Twickenham.

Danny Care’s try sent them on their way and the boot of Nick Evans kept the scoreboard ticking over in what was a comfortable win.

Phil Taylor made it past Raymond van Barneveld despite the Dutchman’s attempt at a fightback in their BDO World Championships semi-final.

Taylor had raced into a 5-1 lead but he failed to be as clinical to close out the match, missing two doubles for the win.
Van Barneveld brought it back to 5-4 but Taylor finally won it 6-4 to set up a final against Dutchman Michael van Gerwen.

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There was a grandstand finish to England T20 game in Mumbai on Saturday.

Having been set a target of 178 England needed three from the final ball of the game to win but captain Eoin Morgan duly hit a six to add a T20 win their test series win.

Rahane and Dhoni quickly smashed apart any control England’s bowlers had taken in their innings and helped their side set a total which looked unreachable, and would have been were it not for Morgan final-over heroics.

Champions Manchester City cut the gaps to Manchester United with a last-gasp 1-0 win over bottom side Reading on Saturday.

Gareth Barry rose above Nicky Shorey to head home a corner in injury time.

United went ahead against Swansea at the Liberty Stadium yesterday through Patrice Evra but Michu pounced to equalise after David de Gea had saved from Jonathan de Guzman and United were unable to find a breakthrough in the second half.

They still lead City by four points, though, going into the busy Christmas period in which they traditionally do so well.

Arsenal moved up to third temporarily after beating Wigan 1-0 thanks to a Mikel Arteta penalty but were displaced by Chelsea who thrashed Aston Villa 8-0 yesterday.

Chelsea shared the goals between seven different scorers; the pick of the bunch coming from David Luiz who powered in an excellent free kick to make it 2-0

Harlequins stay top of Aviva Premiership after an impressive 18-9 victory against Northampton Saints. Nick Evans kicked all points for the champions in the wet weather.

Saracens notched up their biggest ever win over Bath at the rec 22-0. Richard Wigglesworth scored the only try of the game as they kept up their challenge to Harlequins at top of table.

Champion Adrian Lewis and Phil Taylor both made it into the third round of the PDC Darts World Championship.

Lewis was comfortable in his 4-1 victory over Denis Ovens and Taylor won by the same score, recovering after losing the first set.

Gary Anderson, Andy Hamilton and Dave Chisnall all progressed into the last 16.

Dean Winstanley went out in style against Dutchman Vincent van der Voort as he became only the third man to hit a 9-dart finish in PDC World Championship history.

And the Justice Collective scored this year’s Christmas number one with their tribute single to the victim’s of the Hillsborough disaster with the help of the likes of  Robbie Williams and Sir Paul McCartney,

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Jonathan Trott and Ian Bell both scored centuries as England drew the final test against Nagpur to win their first series in India for 27 years.

India had declared after an hour of day three, still four runs behind the visitors’ first innings total of 330, in the hope of bowling England out in time to win the match but Trott and Bell anchored England’ second innings with scores of 143 and 116 not out respectively.

Manchester United and Manchester City both beat their North East opponents 3-1 to maintain the United’s six-point lead at the top of the Premier League table.

Robin van Persie and Wayne Rooney continued their fine scoring runs in United’s home win against Sunderland while City dominated at Newcastle.

Chelsea lost the Club World Cup final, going down 1-0 to South American champions Corinthians.

Chelsea had breezed past opponents from Central America, Monterey, in the semi-final but Fernando Torres and Gary Cahill both wasted good chances in their final defeat, the latter being shown a red card late in the game.

Amir Khan’s career is back on track after winning a make-or-break fight against Carlos Molina in Los Angeles.

Khan bounced back from defeats in his last two fights to stop Molina in the tenth round and is now eyeing a rematch with WBC and WBA champion Danny Garcia.

And Bradley Wiggins has been voted BBC Sports Personality. The cyclist rounded off a dream year in which he won Olympic gold and became the first Briton to win the Tour de France by beating runners-up Jessica Ennis and Andy Murray to the prize.

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Robin van Persie’s last-minute free kick won an exciting Manchester derby for United 3-2 at the Etihad Stadium.

United had taken a 2-0 lead into the second half thanks to a brace from Wayne Rooney but the momentum shifted in City’s favour after they capitalised on an incorrect decision to rule out Ashley young’s goal for offside by countering to score through Yaya Touré.

Pablo Zabaleta rifled in an equaliser through a group of players from the edge of the United box to equalise but there was still time for van Persie to win it for United as his free kick looped past Joe Hart after striking the outstretched leg of Samir Nasri in the City wall.

The win helps United consolidate their position ahead of their local rivals at the top of the Premier League table, taking their lead to six points.

Liverpool recovered from going behind at West Ham to take the match 3-2 in another exciting game.

Steven Gerrard’s own goal put West Ham in the lead after Mark Noble had scored from the penalty spot to cancel out Glen Johnson’s goal.

Another West Ham old boy Joe Cole got Liverpool back to 2-2 and James Collins turned in Jordan Henderson’s cross to give Liverpool the victory.

Everton left it late to beat Tottenham 2-1 at Goodison Park, scoring two goals in injury time.

First Steven Pienaar arrived late in the box to head in Seamus Coleman’s cross and soon afterwards Nikica Jelevic pounced on a lose ball in the Spurs box for the winner.

England wrapped up a straightforward win against India in the third test in Kolkata, closing out the game to win by seven wickets.

England needed just 41 runs in their second innings and, despite losing three wickets early on, made it to the total with ease after Ian Bell steadied the ship, scoring 28.

A draw in the final test in Nagpur will be enough for the visitors to win their first test series in India for 27 years.

Clermont Auvergne beat Leinster to move five points clear of the Heineken Cup holders in Pool 5. Morgan Parra’s kicking was the difference in a match in which neither team were able to score a try.

Leicester beat Treviso 33-25 at Welford Road to earn their second win of the competition to give them the edge in Pool 2 over Ospreys who lost to Toulouse.

Bookies’ favourites Toulon kept up their 100% record in the competition with a 16-7 win at Sale with Jonny Wilkinson in fine form for the French side.

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England stunned the New Zealand at Twickenham, ending the year in fine style with a 38-21 win.

The All Blacks were heavy favourites but a superb first-half defensive display coupled with the faultless goal-kicking of Owen Farrell meant England led 12-0 at half-time.

Their illustrious opponents put up some resistance in the second half, scoring two quick tries but England countered with tries coming from Brad Barritt, Chris Ashton and Manu Tuilagi.

Wales rounded off a depressing set of Autumn internationals with their seventh straight defeat, this time against Australia.

Wales were in control for much of the second half but Kurtley Beale scored a last-minute try to win it 14-12 for Australia.

In the Premier League, Manchester United increased their lead ahead of Manchester City to three points with a 4-3 win at Reading.

All the goals came in a frenetic first half and after going behind twice United took control thanks to Robin van Persie’s winner.

City needed a soft penalty to win a point against Everton, who went ahead via Marouane Fellaini, and third-placed Chelsea conceded two late goals, going down 3-1 at West Ham.

The fixture list for the second round of the FA Cup was dominated by a grudge match between AFC Wimbledon and MK Dons, who faced each other for the first time.

Jon Otsemoboor scored an injury-time winner, fortunately flicking the ball over the head of AFC keeper Neil Sullivan with an outstretched foot.

Graeme McDowell finished 2012 on a high, winning the World Challenge in California by three strokes.

McDowell increased his overnight lead over Keegan Bradley by a shot with a final round of 68, finishing on 17 under.

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Sebastian Vettel won his third straight Formula One world, fighting back after dropping to the back of the field during the first lap to finish sixth.

Fernando Alonso needed to make up a thirteen-point deficit to win the title and his second-placed finish behind Jenson Button wasn’t enough given Vettel’s sixth-placed finish.

England captain Chris Robshaw’s set-piece decision-making came into question again this weekend after England lost by the narrowest of margins to South Africa at Twickenham.

South Africa were leading 16-12 when England were awarded a penalty from with 90 seconds left to play and Robshaw instructed Owen Farrell to kick for goal rather than go for what would have been a match-winning try.

As it was, Farrell scored the three points but there was no time remaining for England to score again and South Africa won 16-15.

Scotland coach Andy Robinson resigned in the aftermath of his side’s embarrassing 21-15 defeat to Tonga.

Wales put up a fight but were ultimately powerless to resist New Zealand, who won their match 33-10. After a poor set of results this autumn, Wales must now avoid defeat against Australia next weekend to remain one of the top eight seeds in advance of the World Cup draw.

Kevin Pietersen’s reintegration to the England cricket team was no doubt helped with an excellent 186 against India in the second test in Mumbai.

England responded perfectly to last weekend’s disappointing defeat and look likely to level the series, in large part down to the spin bowling of Monty Panesar and Graeme Swann who combined to take all seven of India’s second-innings wickets to have fallen so far as well as nine in their first innings.

India lead by 31 going into the fourth day with three wickets remaining before England bat again.

In the Premier League, the weekend’s most hotly-anticipated match failed to live up to its billing as Chelsea and Manchester City both drew a blank at Stamford Bridge.

Chelsea’s fans showed their displeasure at the appointment of Rafael Benitez before the match and his side did little to silence the critics.

The result played into the hands of Manchester United who regained top spot in the Premier League with a 3-1 win against QPR.

Arsenal and Liverpool both also failed to find the back of the net and had to settle for a disappointing 0-0 draws with Aston Villa and Swansea respectively.

Rory McIlroy brought the curtain down on a superb season, winning the DP World Tour Championship in Dubai.

The world number one finished 23-under, two strokes ahead of Justin Rose and a further three in front of Luke Donald.

He carded a mammoth total of eight birdies and an eagle in an excellent final round of 62 on his way to the title.

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England lost the first test in India by nine wickets after an atrocious first couple of days at Ahmedabad.

England could only manage 191 in their first innings but, after being forced to follow, scored 406 to give them hope of a turnaround.

That was snuffed out by the top of the Indian batting order and, despite losing the wicket of Virender Sehwag for 25, they finished England off, racking up a score of 81-1 inside 16 overs.

Sunderland finally overcame their poor run of form with a 3-1 win over Fulham at Craven Cottage.

Steven Fletcher opened the scoring with a neat finish but not before Brede Hangeland was sent off for Fulham for a dangerous tackle.

Mladen Petric tucked away Damien Duff’s drilled cross to equalise but within minutes Sunderland had regained the lead, again through Fletcher before Stephane Sessegnon scored a screamer to secure the points for his side.

The naivety of England captain Chris Robshaw was to blame for England’s 20-14 defeat to Australia in the second autumn international.

England turned down kickable penalties three times in favour of pushing for a try and were punished by Berrick Barnes’ clinical kicking, who scored 15 points.

Wales suffered another embarrassing defeat, this time losing 26-19 against Samoa and Scotland lost 21-10 to South Africa.

The only team from the British Isles to have any success was an Ireland XV, who ran out 53-0 winners over Fiji.

Lewis Hamilton took advantage of traffic ahead of Sebastian Vettel to pass the championship leader and on his way to winning the US Grand Prix in Austin.

Vettel was able to extend his lead over championship rival Fernando Alonso, who finished third but the result nonetheless sets up a nervy final race of the season for the Red Bull man, who needs a podium finish to guarantee his third straight title.

On Saturday Arsenal thrashed ten-man Tottenham 5-2, in a repeat of last season’s result.

Emmanuel Adebayor gave the away side the lead but was sent off for a high tackle and Arsenal capitalised.

Per Mertesacker made amends for his defensive mistake which gifted Spurs that opening goal by scoring the equaliser and Lukas Podolski and Olivier Giroud both scored before half-time to give Arsenal a comfortable lead.

Spurs boss Andre Villas-Boas changed to a dynamic formation at half-time but despite Gareth Bale’s goal Arsenal continued to dominate and scored twice more through Santi Cazorla and Theo Walcott.

Champions Manchester City returned to the top of the Premier League table with a thumping 5-0 win over Aston Villa.

Two dubious penalties helped them on their way, though, and the scoreline flattered City. Carlos Tevez and Sergio Aguero shared penalty-taking duties, and both scored another, while David Silva grabbed the other goal.

City were allowed to remain at the top after Norwich held on to beat Manchester United 1-0 care of a header by former United junior Anthony Pilkington.

The Norwich defence remained resolute under a bombardment of crosses and goalkeeper John Ruddy deserved credit for maintaining a clean sheet for his side.

Chelsea also slipped up away at high-flying West Brom. Peter Odemwingie scored the winner after Eden Hazard had headed home an equaliser.

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