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The Grateful Dad

by Mike Dalby - June 17, 2010 in Friends of CVM with 4 Comments

I’m a faulty man in my mid-fifties, with a wonderful wife of 28 years with 23 years of full time ministry under my belt. All my children are in their early and mid-twenties, walking with Jesus and I’m a Grateful Dad.

Two bits of advice I found worked pretty well.

  1. I always tried to be the one to put my children to bed when they were small, to exchange small-talk and giggles, bible bits and prayings. I read somewhere that the tone and resonance of the male voice (as long as you’re relaxed and not watch-watching!) helps your child make a (relatively!) easy trip to the land of infant dreams.
  2. At a time when it seemed like I was always clashing with my nine year old daughter, I read somewhere that one of the reasons some teenage girls slip into promiscuity can be a lack of appropriate physical affection from the father. I instantly knew that God meant that for me and decided on the spot that as far as possible, there would be a point in each day where I would give her a big cuddle and tell her how much I loved her.  Things changed wonderfully from that point.

By the grace of God, I’m a Grateful Dad.

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  • Revd Steve Godfrey

    Spot on.

    My wife and I have a 22 year old son (at Uni) and 18 year old daughter (a levels exams now) – both really stable, sensible, full of fun and energy, solid Christian values, love jesus, going abroad with Tearfund etc.

    As Dad, whenever at home, I’d put them to bed read stories (e.g. all Narnia books twice over) read a Bible story – even up to age 11 or 12. You know when to stop as they stop asking!
    Its about security, letting them know they are loved unconditionally and that you always have time for them and that you yourself, your life, beliefs, proiroties etc. are an open book for them to see and learn from.

    They’re dead proud of me still at 50.

  • Neil Poole

    Your stories have inspired me to send a very short story of my own.
    Some years ago my dad died from complications relating to .Rheumatoid Arthritis
    During the last few months of his life I was able to pray with him.
    He was not a Christian and did not quite understand what had happened to me when I became a Christian. One day I felt God was speaking to me about my dad.
    He,(God) told me to go and see my dad, get him to stand up and give him a hug. Nothing amazing about that you might say, my dad was not a hugging kind of person. I did not know how he would respond to a hug. I got him to stand up and told him I loved him and gave him a hug. He started to cry I thought this was a mistake I have upset him.
    The truth is it blessed him. I came many times to see him before he died, I told him how it was a church thing to lay hands on the sick for healing. He welcomed my prayers and laying on of hands. My dad was a cockney, on one occasion after I had prayed for him said ” Do you know what boy I am believing in all this” This was music to my ears God could see his heart, I know he is with God. We did not have time for prayers of confession.
    Dont give up on your dads.

  • http://www.momeshome.blogspot.com Mome

    As a dad of three months, I’m looking for every bit of advice I can get… and this is really valuable. I never actually remember my own parents ever telling me that they loved me… I remember lots of hugs… but not those words. And, even though I know she doesn’t yet understand what I say, I now take every opportunity to tell my daughter that I love her… in part, so that I get into the habit.

    Another thing I remember is being able to see through my parents like they were made of glass… it’s all very well wanting to protect children from the harsh realities of life… but they see more than you think. The best policy, I reckon, is to be entirely real… they’ll know what’s going on anyway, and how else are you going to introduce them to the way that you and God work together to sort out the difficult challenges that you face…

    Great encouragement, thank for posting :)

  • Gareth Joice

    As a driven man both professionally and personally I have recently conflicted with my two sons (15 and 13) when I have pushed my own desires for them to achieve and get the most out of their [school, music, sport, church... you fill in the blanks]. We’re all quite a bunch having fiery conversations and discussions, coupled with balancing the music practice noise in the house – drums, guitars, sax, piano it can be trying to balance home life to suit all.

    But recently with God’s help, I’ve changed tack, going instead for spending quality time just relaxing and being yourself with them, whether just a garden kick-about, bike rides, along with having open friendly conversations about what they’re enjoying in life right now.

    It has made me into a real nurturing parent , but has given my sons a great kick in life to know that they are a lovely growing young people. My sons now freely come and give me hugs…and at the most unusual times, and they’re not afraid to open up and talk to about the things that bother them.

    What’s more they even want to come to the bloke events that we run out of the church.

    I agree – By the grace of God, I’m a grateful Dad.