- 10.37pm, Carleton Street, York.

Invisible Enemy: ”Do you think your work will make a difference in the lives of those around you? In the long run, will anyone remember anything you’ve said or done? When will you face the the truth Alex? When will you accept that pinning your hopes on the Nazarene is like living your entire life through rose-tinted glasses? The world has moved on, yet your archaic faith drags your existence to a complete halt. And what if you’ve been deceived? What if the death and resurrection of the Nazarene didn’t play out as your book says it did? Think about what that would mean for a moment. This ‘freedom and forgiveness’ that you talk about endlessly would become empty relics. What would you make of those acts of selfishness, greed and vanity, which you thought you’d been forgiven? Maybe that’s why you still feel guilty. And if your past hasn’t been cleaned as white as snow, then where does this leave your future? Let’s be honest, all the men around you found their wives years ago, yet your life is becoming a laughing stock for the lovestruck. You need to re-think your priorities son, whilst you still have time to turn it all around. Don’t waste your life Alex, you only get one. I’ve seen thousands of men like you give up everything for a cause which left them hanging.”

Invisible God: “You, dear son, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”

1 John 4:4

The book of Genesis is full of large expanses of nothingness. The theme of nothingness seems to sit at the bottom of many chapters like an anchor dragging across the ocean floor. First there was nothing, and out of nothing, God created everything. Man and woman lacked nothing, but longed for everything. Adam heard of his wife’s first sin, and did nothing. When God questioned his creation on their actions, the couple claimed it was nothing to do with them. Cain’s half-hearted attitude to generosity was nothing like his brother’s love for God, and so he killed Abel, reducing him to nothing. Eve mourned the death of her son and the wickedness of Cain, and was left with nothing. God saw that apart from Noah, nothing good was left on the Earth, and brought a flood, destroying everything.

Nothingness, emptiness, darkness and the great void cling to the creation story. I used to think it was just part of the Bible’s first book showing what God did to help steer sinners to freedom. However, the more I study Genesis, the more I see that something in God’s character longs to create his finest work out of the nothingness. He blessed Eve’s family line after they fell foul to selfishness. He restored the Earth after nearly nothing was left alive. He took ‘nothing’ and injected ‘something’. And when his creation took ‘something’ and reduced it ‘nothing’ God brought something else.

There are situations in my life where I see nothingness. There are people I’m trying to help who are addicted to nothingness. There are projects I have launched which seem to be heading into nothingness. And in my darkest hour, I am reminded to whisper; hallelujah. Because the God of the Bible rubs his hands at the murmurings of nothingness. He smiles at the great void and speaks life, in such a way that all memory of darkness becomes a punchline.

Those of us hunted by nothingness must remember that Eve rejoiced at the birth of her third son Seth. A perished Earth drenched in nothingness rose again under a rainbow of something good. And Jesus heart, pumping nothingness, beat again on the third day. Our nothingness will become a hallelujah.

In our moment of nothingness, we must remember. We must return to God’s Word which takes the notion of ‘nothing’ and smashes it across the gates of Eden. We have nothing, yet we have everything. We are hopeless, yet full of hope. We are dying, yet we live forever. To my friends who tell me they have nothing left, I can show them hallelujah.

After rediscovering the Bible’s first book, I have concluded this: Nothingness is a place where God is waiting to dance with you.

Alex

Dedicated to my brothers Lloyd and Lewis.

Some were heroes, others were righteous, and few were wise. But only two men walked with God. The account of Genesis has become like a childhood den for me these last few days. I have burrowed in and around the chapters like a small animal hunting for food. And what a meal I have received.

It seems to me that the creator of all things allowed human beings to contribute their own brushstrokes to his already perfect canvas. Much of their work started off as beautiful patterns with the likes of Adam, Abel and Abraham striving to honour their maker. But for every step of holiness that is taken in Genesis, a marathon of sinfulness is run on the same page.

“Why did you create humanity?” I asked the Lord, as I dwelt amongst the tragedies of God’s first book. “Noah and Enoch” were the responses I got from God’s mouth, the Bible.

Something about their lifestyle drew the favour of God. And though many people may think its our actions that please him the most, I see that God gave both Noah and Enoch wonderful descriptions before any major good deed was carried out. Noah walked with God before he built the Ark. Enoch walked with God before he was taken majestically to his place of rest.

So where does this leave you and me brother? As with all the men in the first account, we’re left with our own canvas. But if we chose to live with Christ as our chief artist, we also need to pick up a brush ourselves. And as we try to follow his lead on the portrait of our lives, maybe we could have similar epitaphs carved out about us. Maybe you and I can walk with God.

As 2012 wraps around us with its unique blots and blemishes, how can we keep our eyes fixed on him who paints so well? Lets glance at the blueprint.

Philippians 4:6-10

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

This year I’ll be reading the entire Bible. I say ‘reading’ but what I mean is ‘listening’ due to a quirky little programme on my iPhone. So, before I go to sleep I’ll be listening to a man with a deeper voice than Gandalf read to me. (That sounds a little bit weird but I can assure you it’s already the highlight of my days.) So far I’m just passed the story of the first families in Genesis.

I’m not going to boast, but I have read it before. I know what happens, when it happens and how it’s going to happen. However, the Bible has a unique ability to draw your attention to certain teachings which are stunningly apt for you at specific times.

I highlighted three big hitters and will be unpacking them over the next three weeks. The first lesson I was reminded of was at the heart of the tragic story of Cain and Abel.

Both brothers worked hard for God. Both brothers knew God was God. Both brothers made sacrifices to God.

However, Cain’s attitude was rotting inside his heart like a carcass abandoned in the wastelands. The thing that strikes me about Cain’s attitude also scares me. It scares me because I see this attitude in my own life and the life of many men around me. It’s the attitude that says: “I know”.

It’s the man who has every answer sewn up in his mouth before the other person has even stopped talking. It’s the man with a solid exterior and a glaze behind his eyes. It’s the man who always needs first mention and the last word. It’s the man who will not humble himself, yet speaks a lot about his weaknesses.

And yet God gave Cain a phenomenal opportunity to change things around. However, you can see in the short account below how Cain’s attitude was impenetrable.

Genesis 4:2-9

Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favour on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favour. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.

Then the LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.”

Now Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let’s go out to the field.” While they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.

Then the LORD said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

I prayed three prayers on day one of this year. The first was a result of reading the story of Cain and Abel.

My prayer was this: “Father, I have seen so much of Cain’s attitude in my own life, and in the lives of men around me. I want to be like Abel. Help me follow you closely, and point others to you.”

Peace.

Alex Willmott’s thoughts on Christmas.

If you don’t have audio, please find the Splog content below.

God on Earth

If I’m being honest, like, really honest, I struggle with the Christmas story. I understand why it’s the heart of the Christian faith. After all it’s a time when we reflect on the arrival of the King. It’s a time when we marvel at God’s masterplan to direct, inspire and save humanity from fear, faithlessness and sin. I do not struggle with the notion of the Christmas story, but the practicality of it. I mean, if I was an onlooker at Jesus’ birth, I would have been so freaked out I’d have probably got a nosebleed. I’d have probably looked at the wise men, glanced briefly at the baby boy wrapped in rags, and then back at the wise men, many times, before saying: “Gents, if you’re telling me this boy is actually God on Earth, then I think you three need straightjackets. Put the gold, frankincense, and Myrrh back in the bag, and leave the child alone. He’s not the messiah, he’s a very tired boy.”

And then, the wise men may tell me that this boy was not just God on earth, but that his birth itself had been at the heart of the greatest prophesy ever spoken in history. And that this little, tiny human was going to live a perfect life in every way, before submitting to a six hour execution all because the human race had wrecked their relationship with their creator. The wise men may go on and explain that his perfect life and horrible death, would grab the attention of millions and millions of people across the planet. And at the moment someone gives their attention to this God on Earth, and decide to follow his Way, their relationship with their creator would be restored.

At this point I would have probably taken two or three steps away from the wise men and contemplated getting the mother and child far away from them. Lets be honest, this story is off the charts of weird. But how much more weird is it that this baby boy, began to claim he was God on Earth just 30 years after he was born. And even weirder, all the hype and prophesy about his birth, life and death, was 100% accurate. He did go on to direct, inspire and save humanity. He did go on to change the world forever. He did go on to live a perfect life, and ultimately die a horrible death.

I struggle with how morbidly perfect the Christmas story is. I struggle with how painfully relevant it is. And as I sit here sipping a glass of sherry, in a world of financial chaos, why is it that the Christmas story makes more sense that anything else?

Peace

It’s safe to say the salon was camp. I was two steps into the York establishment when I realised that more women were having their bonnets cut than men. I felt a little bit out of place, and so, like any working class lad, I kept my head down. On my approach to the reception desk I saw a guy that looked like he had stepped out of an aftershave advert. He was taller, cooler, better dressed and generally a nicer guy than I was. He smiled at me despite me frowning at him. I was instantly sceptical of this salon.

It turned out that he was the only one available to cut my hair on that day. I was secretly pleased at this news because deep down I wanted to look like this guy. We chatted about our lives and I found out that he always tried to keep himself in shape to impress his girlfriend. And after the first few minutes of small talk, he asked me a question I had never heard before: “So, how much work do you put into your hair?” I laughed at first, before clocking the fact he was serious. And so he should be. Though I had found a discount voucher for this particular salon, it was still one of the best salons in York. He wasn’t just a donkey with some hairclippers, he had dedicated his life to creating style. And though it’s not my idea of an exciting ambition, there was no doubt he was serious about it.

I was honest about the lack of effort I had put into my hair. He laughed for a short while before telling me about my hair’s potential. He said my hair had ‘the potential to turn heads.’ (I took the compliment but didn’t believe it). But he is an expert, so I watched him carve my strands into something a lot nicer on the eyes.

So, golf, football, creative writing, communication, long-distance running, speaking Welsh, snooker…hair. This is an updated list of those things in my life that I am happy to work on. I am happy to make sure I am always improving in these things. I am positive that the more I put into the above list, the more I will develop in each area.

But the Christian faith is not to be worked on. There’s no time. After all, the Christian faith is something which should drip into every area of my life. It’s not separate is it? At the end of the day its all about me being pleasant to others, cracking a few jokes at my midweek church group and being on time on Sunday. Surely I don’t have to work on my faith. Surely that’s not my responsibility. For I am saved by Grace, and not by works. Yes that’s right, grace. Lovely lovely grace. Hallelujah.

Philippians 2:12-13: Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

I guess there’s a difference between the faith that keeps its head down, and the faith that turns heads. So to echo the words of my hairdresser, ‘How much work do you put in?’

Peace.

Let me tell you about the oldest woman in my city. She is incredible. I’ve not known her that long, but as soon as I gave her the time of day a few years back, I knew I’d be friends with her for the rest of my time here. She met me when I was going through a tricky time in my life. And though at first, I assumed a lady like her wouldn’t want anything to do with someone like me, I couldn’t have been further from the truth. I noticed straight away that she is the sort of woman who remembers people’s names.

I’ll be honest, she’s not an expert in many things, but she puts a fair shift in. For instance, she cooks for me and many others every week. She offers to help me out when I’ve fallen on hard times. And without fail, she always asks me how I’m doing in my life and is keen to meet my mates at any given opportunity.

I did a bit of research into her life due to her lack of boasting. And get this; she has done pretty much everything. I read about her early years and was mesmerised as I found out about her time in Asia Minor when she was attacked because of what she believed. I wept as I read about her time in China when many of her family members were executed for sharing the same faith as her. Never has a life story gripped me so much as hers. She worked as a nurse in wartime, a teacher during the apartheid and she even helped rebuild houses and schools after the devastation of natural disasters in recent times.

At first I thought she was a perfect human being, but she soon stopped me in my tracks. She confessed to a lifetime of mistakes. I was told about how some men had taken her down roads she had never intended to travel. She told me that regret was never far from her despite the difference she had made in the world. She even remembered the names of those she had offended by not prioritising them when it mattered. As she fought back the tears, I tried to remind her of the people she had helped in her life. However, she simply confessed to being constantly reminded of her past failures.

After hearing her life story to date, I couldn’t help but cry with her in the middle of York city centre.

Some of my friends found out that I started meeting with the old lady regularly, and their reaction was somewhat varied. One of my friends described her as an outdated failure. (I later found out that he had actually been fed, watered and loved by the same old lady a few years previous, but he had forgotten.) Another mate of mine scoffed at her charitable works and muttered: “Let’s face it, she’ll be dead soon.” I was stunned to hear such volatile words spoken about such a humble and honest woman.

I shared my friend’s comments with the old lady last week, and was once again floored by her reaction. She told me that she had never been perfect, and for every good deed she had carried out, she also made a mistake. However, it was her parting words to me which I’ll never forget. She said: “Alex, I’m trying to get better at how I love people. Please tell your friends that I’m sorry I failed in this love.”

My friends were not interested in redemption though. And I’m learning that redemption is their prerogative and not mine. However, I informed them that I would not stop having coffee with the old lady. For all she has done for me and people like me all over the world, I will be forever grateful. I also told my friends that despite their rigid opinions, I would not allow any of them to say horrible things about her in front of me. She is my sister, my guardian, my healer, my teacher and my best friend. She is more than 2000 years old. Her name is Church. Mrs Local Church, and I’d take a bullet for her.

Peace.

The Diet Coke tasted like a mutated younger sibling of the real thing, but I refused to return back to what was once a wonderful addiction. As I sat in the city centre pub waiting for my friend Bomba to finish his meeting, I saw two women approach the bar and enquire about part time jobs in the space of 15 seconds. The first woman entered alone, armed with her smile and a CV. After a brief conversation, she expressed her interest at the position available and handed over her life’s logbook.

The second woman was with her boyfriend, and had the exact same conversation with the manager before handing her CV to the same pair of hands. After both women had left, the bar staff marvelled at how two women could apply for the same job within seconds of each other. I sipped my Diet Coke with one ear on the conversation.

The manager read both CVs and with an air of great nonchalance, he corrected the mistakes on each document. He bantered with his bar staff about how much power he had in the situation like Julius Caesar determining the fate of a lowly soldier. And then, without further thought, he tore up one of the CVs displaying his great strength. One of the younger members of staff enquired as to why he came to such a quick decision. He replied: “Well it’s simple. I’m going to interview the girl who came in alone, because the other girl’s boyfriend looked pretty rough. I don’t want that here.”

The bar staff laughed. I didn’t laugh. I sipped my pitiful beverage and resisted sticking my Welsh nose into their business. I’m so glad the creator of all things doesn’t make his decisions based on the same criteria as that clown in the pub. This is what the Bible says about this issue. Be blessed as you read it.

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Peace.

Oven gloves are probably one of the best inventions for the kitchen. It’s like having a robot hand at your disposal when you need to get up close and personal with your lamb chops. However, some people like to hoard oven gloves regardless of their huge, blatant, gaping holes over the knuckle area of the appliance. My housemate is one of these people.

As I reached into the oven and grasped the sizzling tray of glory and delight, I could see smoke rising from the surface of the glove. And during a closer inspection, I soon realised that it wasn’t the glove which had touched the white-hot rings of the grill. I whispered ‘phew’ as the thought of igniting my mobile robot hand glove didn’t sit well with me. However, my relief lasted as long as a Blackburn Rovers clean sheet. The smoke was a result of burning flesh which was previously attached to my knuckle.

Now I’m positive that Jesus never ever said a naughty word, even when he stubbed his toe or caught his finger in a door. However, I can imagine Samson whispering a cheeky expletive when a sudden burst of pain came his way. (I can’t prove that, but it does make me feel better when recalculating the whole event).

As my girlfriend picked up the oven glove which I threw at the floor as hard as I could, she pointed out the biggest hole I’ve seen since I punched my way out of the bathroom a couple of weeks ago. Why would anyone keep an oven glove with a hole in it? It’s like keeping football posters of all the players who left your beloved team in a bid to win a trophy with another club.

As the cold water tap came to my immediate rescue, I tried to eliminate any thoughts I had of making my housemate eat the oven glove on his return from the gym. At 3am the following morning I woke up with the sensation that I can only explain as a heartbeat pulsating through my grilled finger. I switched on my lamp to see a blister, the size of my ego, smiling at me with an expression which said: “You know what you have to do Welsh boy”. And so without any hesitation, I did what any man would do, and spent half an hour plucking up the courage to pierce it. It exploded like C-4 coming out of a cannon from the heart of Mount Etna.

It’s safe to say I was reminded of how futile this existence can be.

James 4: 3-17

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.