NOTICE FOR SINGLE CHRISTIAN MEN
Fellas, single Christian ladies are looking to meet men at the Promulgating Network Christian New Year Event from Dec 29 to Jan 1 at the High Leigh Conference Centre, Hoddesdon, Hertfordshire.
Three night break with full board accommodation plus dancing, worship, fun workshops, thought provoking seminars, walks and much more from £295.
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We are currently in the midst of the annual 16 days of global action to end violence against women. Last week, Alesha Dixon presented a BBC programme which highlighted the experience of children, including herself, affected by domestic violence. More than 750,000 children in the UK are living in homes where such violence takes place.
As part of her enquiry, Alesha interviewed a male perpetrator of domestic violence who had signed up to a programme to help change his attitudes and behaviour. When asked why he wanted to change, he said that he had become aware of the emotional damage being done to his children. The man himself had experienced domestic violence between his parents, and his sister was also in an abusive relationship. Domestic violence affects children directly, but also makes it much harder for them to form good relationships in the future. The costs of domestic violence, and the benefits from preventing it, go on for generations.
What the perpetrator didn’t seem concerned about was the damage he had done to his partner. He spoke about how he undermined her self-esteem with insults, and how this had led on to physical violence. He said he wanted to be in control and was very conscious of the fear that kept her from leaving. I applaud his willingness to speak out so openly about his crimes, but what can be done to build positive and healthy relationships, and to challenge men who are abusing women, whether there are children involved or not?
Restored is a new international Christian alliance committed to transforming relationships and ending violence against women. CVM is a founder members of Restored, and there are strong linkages between codelife and Restored’s work. If all men applied the following elements of The Code, then violence against women would be ended:
Next year Restored and CVM will be working on a Christian men’s campaign to end violence against women. This will be called “First Man Standing”, and the global launch will be in June at The Gathering organised by CVM “in a field near Swindon”. I look forward to seeing you there!
In the meantime, what can you do? Firstly you can recognise that domestic violence takes place, and take it seriously. If you are involved yourself, then admit it and seek help (a good contact is Respect). Domestic abuse is happening in the church, and you can download a draft Church Pack from the Restored website which will help your church to address it. We can all challenge the behaviour of other men when it comes to demeaning women and creating an atmosphere in which violence is acceptable.
Most of all we can love and support the women in our own lives, and try to model what a healthy relationship and a good husband and father looks like. As Christians and others take action, I believe that we will see culture changed and violence reduced, and that will be good news for all of us: women, children and men.
Peter Grant is the Co-Director of Restored. He blogs here and you can follow Restored on Twitter.
LoveZim International prayer day for Zimbabwe 26th September 2010
An exciting thing is happening in Zimbabwe. There is a move on to redeem the broken land that was once called the ‘breadbasket’ of Africa. Zimbabwe is rich in resources but has become a place of poverty, hunger and dependency. A move is afoot to bring profitability, health and sustainability to the people of Zim.
For some time Foundations for Farming have been teaching simple, sustainable and effective farming techniques that have been increasing harvests and transforming communities in Africa. Their track record has led to partnerships with organisations such as Tearfund, the Evangelical Alliance, the Evangelical Fellowship of Zimbabwe and African Enterprise. Now the government in Zimbabwe is taking notice and the partnership have been given the opportunity to enpower farmers across the nation over the next five years. The initive will not only equip people to feed themselves, but it also has the potential to reinvigorate the economy and bring real hope to a nation that is in desperate need of redemption.
Momentum is growing around the world to support this amazing opportunity and on the 26th of September there is going to be a day of prayer where people internationally will be able to join hands and make a difference to Zimbabwe. We at ChristChurch London will be praying with brothers and sisters around the world on that day. Please do join us in intercession, wherever you are, and if you want to know more then do check out the website: http://www.lovezim.org/ or follow on Facebook or Twitter.
God can transform a nation. Through prayer we have the opportunity to be involved.
Since I began full-time church work as a curate in the Church of England last year, I have become increasingly convinced of the need for the church to engage with the local community, to be salt and light, to allow the light of Jesus to shine out in all places. This was part of the reason that the Connect Lads’ Church began to take up a weekly residence in the local pub on Sunday evenings. In our village community space is at a premium, as are opportunities for the community to gather. The village hall and the pubs are the only spaces where people in the community can gather, and the village hall is almost always fully booked. This is why I have been keen for our church building and surrounding grounds to be such a place where people gather. It may not be comfortable, it is a risky business, but we mustn’t forget that, as the former Archbishop of Canterbury, William Temple, said, “The Church is the only society that exists for the benefit of those who are not its members.”
With this in mind, three events were planned in fairly quick succession … a quiz night in April, a Father’s Day celebration in June, and then an event to celebrate the World Cup final – three events where the community could be welcomed. Only the Father’s Day event was explicitly evangelistic, but all three gave God’s people the opportunity to love people through hospitality and through conversation, and also to grow together through teamwork. This last bit is absolutely key, because for all three events people have worked their socks off moving chairs, making and serving food and drink, welcoming and inviting people, and generally working to do all they can to make these events happen. Afterwards, we’ve all been left with a real (and deserved) sense of achievement.
I’m a dreamer, a big picture guy. Details are really not my thing. This can be useful, because generally means I have great ideas (even if I say so myself!), but it also has its drawbacks – I have absolutely no idea how to put them into place! Hosting a World Cup special event was a perfect example. I thought it would be brilliant to host a family-friendly event in our church where people could gather to watch the football. We could precede the match with a barbecue, all-age kick-around and other football-related activities. Brilliant! So, the event was approved, the date was fixed, before we knew how we’d actually screen the football. After all, how hard could it be?
Very hard, actually! The church building was a logical venue for the big match, but the church didn’t have a TV aerial installed. No problem – simply take the signal from the vicarage – we’d only need about 30m of coaxial cable! And then there was the small matter of the massive West window, which would make it difficult to actually see the screen. No problem – let’s black it out with paper! A crazy idea, but one which might just work. But then came the seeming death knell to the event – an email that notified us that FIFA required organisations to obtain a special licence to screen the football in public. When did I find out? 10 days after the application deadline passed. But people knew about the event. We couldn’t pull the plug now
Then my wife, Liz, had a brainwave – put a marquee in the garden and screen it there. It would be on our private property. People would be there on our invitation, so it wouldn’t be a public event. Perfect! All we needed to do was find a marquee, which, amazingly, a member of the congregation happened to own. Brilliantly, it fitted in our garden – just! Another member of the congregation happened to own a gazebo, which was perfect for housing the screen and projector. We were up and running. All we needed was to get the signal from the TV aerial to the digital receiver in the garden, and from the receiver to the projector. Easy … or not! Bought cheap cables from eBay, which didn’t work. Someone donated coaxial cable for us to use … that didn’t work! I did one of the things I do best, which is panic! After panicking, we bought more expensive cable and ready-made coaxial cable, and finally, only six days before the world cup final, all was sorted. Talk about cutting it fine!
As the above demonstrates, I have to work really hard (often with people who have far more than myself) to ensure that everything goes as smoothly as possible – and even then, things don’t always go to plan. Take the father’s day celebration for example. The timing couldn’t have been worse – it came three days after I returned with my family from a two-week holiday. The day after my return, I went on an ordination retreat for two days and was ordained priest the day before the event. It was a crazy few days. Knowing all this in advance, I did all I could to plan the event meticulously – doing the necessary technology bits, preparing the service, and delegating other tasks. It was all sorted. I was ultra-organised. But then, on my return, I discovered that the guest speaker was unable to make the engagement. Suddenly I found myself writing the talk before the suitcases had been unpacked! I also found myself asking a couple of guys at very late notice to share their testimony. Thankfully they agreed, even though they’d had only a couple of hours to prepare. Amazingly the event all came together and we welcomed a good number of people into our church to celebrate the joys of fatherhood. One guy came along who’d previously sworn he’d never set foot in church again. That alone made all the stress well worth it.
As I write it’s a week after the world cup final event. The gazebo and marquee are still in my garden; the only reminders of the “World Cup Final Family Festival” hosted jointly by our church and one of the village’s community groups. It was a very long afternoon and evening, a lot of hard work, but also a lot of fun. A good number of people (the majority of whom were not regular church-goers) came to the event. We had a great time together and were blessed by the weather, which, thank God, remained warm and dry. Everything went smoothly and I was left with a cocktail of emotions once the final whistle blew and the last people left – relief, exhaustion, euphoria, excitement and above all, thankfulness to God. After all, so much could have gone wrong – it could have rained, the technology could have failed, people may not have turned up, people may not have put in the hours of hard work to make the events happen – but it didn’t.
A week on, I’m still pretty exhausted but the sense of gratitude remains, along with a sense of wonder that our amazing God would allow me to have so much fun working with so many amazing people to share his love with the community. I may have been flying by the seat of my pants, but I’ve got by thanks to the overwhelming grace of God.
I’m a faulty man in my mid-fifties, with a wonderful wife of 28 years with 23 years of full time ministry under my belt. All my children are in their early and mid-twenties, walking with Jesus and I’m a Grateful Dad.
Two bits of advice I found worked pretty well.
By the grace of God, I’m a Grateful Dad.
At about 4am this morning I was trying to comfort my five month year old son who was teething. Despite the circumstance I was shocked at how normal it actually seemed and how life had changed so much and so quickly since his arrival.
Despite being from a relatively large and comparatively happy family I never really desired to have children of my own. It was not that I disliked children, I was very happy to interact with other people’s children, especially nephews, nieces and Godchildren (and then hand them back), but I was never remotely broody (or whatever the male equivalent is). This may even be because I am from a fairly large family – three boys and a girl – and I knew quite how much of a handful we were. Remembering the many and various ways we drove my parents to distraction makes me cringe and may have been a subconscious deterrent. Saying that I also sort of assumed that I would have children at some point and had faith that they would be a blessing and I would love them. This was more of a reasoned than an emotional position though.
One could have faith in verses such as Psalm 127:3 “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.” But it did not stir me at the personal level.
When my wife Juliette became pregnant my position did not change much, I was happy, but in a fairly remote way. I was very conscious that it was very important that I did not convey any sense of detachment as Juliette was going to need all the support she could get. I was convinced that Juliette would make a great mother but she too was not really broody beforehand and she did fear the loss of independence, work, and exercise that pregnancy potentially represented. Coupled with this Juliette suffered from quite debilitating morning sickness for some months and so it was important that I was the point of encouragement and strength that she required. Saying all of that she only slowed down to a certain extent and just days before the birth she was still swimming, organising large work events and even standing on a stage speaking in front of hundreds of people!
None of this necessarily helped my peace of mind though as I watched Juliette grow. At the twelve-week point we saw the tiny form on the scan and this really helped Jules to connect with the baby, which was a real relief to me, and the photo immediately adorned our fridge and was emailed to family world-wide. It was a special moment for me too, especially as he (not confirmed at this point but we both had a strong feeling it was a ‘he’) gave us a thumbs-up for the scan photo, but emotionally I still felt quite removed. I was not especially worried about this as I did not really know how to feel. Over all I was much more concerned about Juliette; after all she was the one I married, we were together before the child and God-willing would be together after the child had grown up and moved away, and so she was my first priority.
Because Jules was my priority I really wanted to be around for the birth. This may sound like an obvious aspiration but I had Army commitments that were likely to take me away just after the due date – therefore I started praying that our little one would arrive on time! These prayers were answered in an unexpected way.
In preparation for the baby’s arrival Jules and I combined our practical skills to full effect. While I arranged for the builders to come in and finish the various bits of work I had been putting off for the last two years Jules created an in-depth spreadsheet of all the things we need to beg, borrow or buy. Part of marrying Juliette was an education in quite how much of life can be represented in Excel. I then, in turn, became an Ebay king, hunting down bargains to fill in the gaps from the monumental spreadsheet. One proud purchase was a Phil&Ted’s buggy that I was very happy with until I had to make the epic journey to the wilds of North London to collect.
The whole adventure took longer than expected and I had only just tracked down the house in question when I received a tearful phone call from Jules. It was the day before the official due date and she had gone in for a check up with the doctor. The doctor was concerned about a few things, especially that the baby had not turned – despite the confident prognosis made by the mid-wife a couple of weeks before. Jules had been advised to go into hospital for a scan to confirm what was going on, and sure enough, little baby was contently sitting head up, scant aware of the concern he was causing those outside his warm confines. There was also some concern over blood pressure and flow so the check-up soon turned into Juliette being asked to stay in hospital overnight. A decision would be made in the morning as to whether things could be left, whether they would try and turn the baby manually or whether a caesarean section was necessary. All of this, within the space of a couple of hours, was understandably quite a shock to Jules; it looked like the birth plan was going to have to be revised! I did the best I could to rush back – the words speedy and public transport not always sitting well together – and help her get settled. Settled is probably misleading as she was put onto the labour ward next to a lady who had only just started her contractions but was already screaming for nurses, paediatricians, surgeons, God and morphine in steady circulation. It was going to be a long night.
I could not stay in the hospital but I returned as early as I could the next day to find Jules who was not very rested; Ms Screamer and her entourage had only been moved on in the early morning. Midwives and doctors gathered to us and conferred in Holby City stances: they recommended that the best option was for the baby to be born by C-section that very day. It was not a real emergency so it would be after the other pre-booked sections but we would go into theatre in the late afternoon if we elected to go that route. Jules and I had our own consultation sitting on the bed and agreed that the operation would be the best thing. So we began our wait.
I was beginning to think that we were going to be pushed back to the following day when the midwife arrived with some particularly fetching clinical pyjamas for me. George Clooney eat your heart out; I made those shapeless gowns look good! Jules was wheeled into a very quiet looking operating theatre which was a little suspicious; I knew the NHS was strapped but was hoping that my newly donned surgeon’s garb was not a precursor to being told this was a DIY surgery unit. Fortunately it was just that we were in the wrong place and the (fully qualified) anaesthetist and the surgeon were actually next-door.
Every one was very pleasant and Jules was doing incredibly well for someone that was about to have a large needle stuck into their spinal column. I have to say at this point that natural birth or no my respect for Juliette (and other mothers) reached new dizzy heights through this process. When the injection was over the team were keen to get on with things – even a little hasty in fact as Jules still had a little too much sensation. One of my roles was to make sure that any of Juliette’s concerns and wishes were carried with full weight to the medical practitioners and so we waited a few more minutes before the little curtain went up over the tummy, and I took to my next role, that of holding Jules’ hand and making sure she had my complete attention and support during the op.
It all happened pretty quickly and the next thing I can remember is a little squeak from behind the curtain and the surgeon holding aloft a tiny baby boy. Joshua. I knew it was Joshua even then. That instant, seeing Joshua for the first time almost brings tears back to my eyes as I write this. It was one of the most profound moments of my life, it was as if there was an instant download of emotions into my being and in a second my eyes were opened with understanding about what it meant to be a parent and Father. It was as absolute as stepping through a door into another world, a Matrix or Mr Ben like instantaneous revolution of worldview and paradigm. The instant is frozen in time; there with the moment that Juliette finished walking down the isle on our wedding day, when she put her hand in mine, and our eyes met. Life changing.
Whole reams of the Bible now made sense to me. The concepts of a father’s love, the idea of a firstborn, a one and only son; their significance swelled with new meaning. It was a true moment of revelation.
A couple of days later Juliette was still in hospital with the babe, and even though we had discussed names aplenty, we had not officially decided on a name for him. The Ashes were on – it was the second test – but I resisted the urge to propose Freddy (Flintoff) or Jonathan (Trott) to the burgeoning list of boys names. After all I felt certain that he was Joshua and now, after a couple of days and talking it through with Juliette, it was obvious that she did too.
We then had another emotionally charged moment as we prayed for and named Joshua. He lay contently through the whole process. The mid-wife came in at the end and we needed to explain that the tears all-round were those of joy not the baby-blues!
Seeing Joshua for that first time was like nothing else and yet I still look forward to seeing him on a daily basis. It is a real privilege to have some time with him almost every day and I miss him when I am away. And now? Well Juliette and I are both officially besotted parents and I can confirm that it has been one of the most unexpected, welcome and pleasurable revolutions in my life.
4am may be painful but I know I will look back – when he is no longer dependent upon me – and realise how precious such moments actually are.
I keep hearing the newsreaders going through that matter-of-fact but deadly patter—part of the almost weekly routine now for us it seems, but each time, the end of some family’s world.
‘The MOD has announced the death in Afghanistan this week of another British serviceman. He was corporal… of the … battle group, killed by an Improvised Explosive Device while on patrol outside the town of … in Helmand province. The family have been informed.’
Recently, NATO announced the death of ten allied troops in Afghanistan—all on the same day.
This is what 21st century warfare means for us. To have the same impact as the original, if St Paul was writing Ephesians chapter 6, verses 10 to 18, now, I think it might sound like this: (And it’s got nothing to do with being anti-Muslim).
‘Last-minute heads up guys; take God’s strength on board. Get yourselves kitted out with all His battle equipment so you can keep your position in the face of everything the enemy throws at you.
We aren’t fighting against human powers, but against the warlords of evil that can’t be seen; against massive forces of darkness and personal powers of evil in the spiritual world. Clip on every piece of kit so you can fight back when you make contact with the opposition. Then, after the fire-fight, you’ll still be holding ground.
Stand fast in your battle harness of Truth and with God’s full acceptance of you as His soldier—that’s like having Kevlar body armour. Get booted up with the inner calm that comes from the good news of God’s forgiveness and you’ll be ready for anything. There’s more. Get inside the armoured personnel carrier that is trust in God, to protect you from the enemy’s IEDs. Make sure you’ve signed up to God’s free rescue plan for you. If not, you might as well forget your helmet. And grab hold of your spiritual assault rifle—The Bible.
Keep your two-way communication channel to God open at all times; and under all conditions, keep your spiritual eyes peeled. Always, but always keep directing God’s help to the troops fighting in the other units.’
Let’s just do it.
Dallas Willard was speaking at our Sunday meeting recently and proclaimed “God made coffee” (among other things). He was challenging us to remember to thank God for the many good things we are surrounded by and try and to start the day by blessing something of the amazing world we live in.
It is a sunny day and I am sitting drinking a coffee, watching the world go by and feeling very content. Isn’t it amazing how such simple things can make us feel so happy? I am in Central London and yet I am touched by the glory of God’s creation and brought closer to God as a result. All that was needed was to reflect upon a little bit of sunshine and a hot drink made from some roasted beans!
I think that using the ordinary to remind us of the extraordinary is at the heart of leading a life of worship, ‘the practice of the presence of God’ that the monk Brother Lawrence wrote about way back in the 1600s. I guess when we get this practise honed we will be able to say like Paul that we are content in all situations because we will see God wherever we are and in whatever we are doing.
Philippians 4:12
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”
So today I thank God for coffee and for sunshine.
I really love film. I enjoy trips to the cinema, if I want to watch something on TV it is generally a film; I am a fan of Mark Kermode’s podcast and I was even in the film society at University! My friend Russell is also a film fan and I have recently borrowed a pile of various DVDs off him which included the film “The Gospel According to St Matthew”, directed by Pasolini in 1964.
Pier Paolo Pasolini was an Italian poet, intellectual, writer, filmmaker and political figure. He was something of a renaissance man in his breadth of activity and gifting, but he was also a controversial figure, his communist views being just one source of scandal.
The fact that Pasolini was a Marxist and an atheist makes the reverential approach of the film particularly surprising. The dialogue is taken straight from Matthew’s Gospel and he vowed to make it from the perspective of a believer; though when the work was finished he realised he had made it in a way that reflected his own Marxist worldview. Still, it has been critically acclaimed as one of the best adaptations of the life of Jesus, and despite being quite dated in feel (and subtitled due to it being in Italian), it is very powerful.
I recommend it because it presents a different perspective on a well known story. I am always trying to find new ways of looking at things. The Easter story is so important, so fundamental, but when you are dealing with a story that is so familiar how do you ensure that it stays alive, how do you see new paradigms, keep the material fresh and maintain the impact?
So leading up to Easter this year I had been looking at the story from new perspectives, Pasolini’s being one of them. I have also been reading “The Cross of Christ” by John Stott (a book I cannot recommend highly enough) and I have been meditating on the story of the Centurion who stood at the foot of the cross while Jesus died – especially the passage of Matthew 27:27-54.
We all tell the gospel from a different point of view, our own perspective. Even the four Gospels are highly reflective of the characters that wrote them: the Jewish perspective of Matthew, the punchy account of Mark, the precise account of the doctor Luke, the mystical perspective of John.
The way we tell of our encounter’s with Jesus also reflect our own history and character. The blind man hardly knew anything about Jesus and when questioned he just said what he knew:
John 9:11 He replied “The man they called Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed and then I could see…whether he is a sinner or not I do not know. One thing I know. I was blind but now I see!”
It is not the whole gospel but it was the good news as he knew it, how it applied to him. There is nothing wrong with us because it is by telling our own story that it remains authentic, and when people see the change in our character they can see something of the power of the gospel.
The Good Book Company is a fantastic resource for books, bible studies, group material and more.